A very confusing dynamic rule in attraction, whether you’re a woman or a man, states that your life revolves around you and no one else.
Nice guys don’t normally like this rule and find it difficult to implement it into their lives for obvious reasons. It implies one must become or be selfish and not care about others; for attraction to work the nice guy must throw away his niceness and become self-centered. He must error on the side of narcissism.
Luckily for us “good guys“, it’s not the whole truth and the employing of this strict selfish attitude is NOT necessary. A balance must be achieved depending on the individual’s personal situation of course.
However – to become a more attractive “good” guy – the rule, “Your life Revolves Around You and No One Else” must be started immediately because too many nice guys who are not attracting women do exactly the opposite in too many ways.
In the nice guy approach I like to look at how the other not so positive men attract women and strip the negative edge so us “nice guys” can use the good stuff. This rule is no exception.
The jerk is obvious in his ways. His arrogance and over blown confidence is thrown in everyone’s face. He forces the people around him to conform to his life or “rules,” and if you don’t, he will let you know about it one way or another.
The Jerks life revolves around himself and rarely gives in. His careless attitude shows a lack of empathy towards others and their possessions and often feels like the “world” owes him something.
Typically the jerk is considered to be narcissistic or overly selfish.
The bad boy lives a life all his own. He’s out for the thrill of it and if you want to hop on, he’ll let you ride with him. The bad boy, unlike the jerk, doesn’t need you to conform to his rules but he certainly follows his own regardless of others.
The bad boy’s life revolves around his own often self-destructive attitude but is not necessarily Ego driven, narcissistic or selfish.
The player doesn’t have a choice. If you want to play the game correctly then you have to set your own rules to avoid too many failures. You get the woman to revolve around you like she’s the moon and you’re the earth. That way in such cases she can also be set adrift among the universe.
Since the player is setting up the game and the rules by which he plays women, he inherently revolves around himself and women follow if they fall for it.
The common traits or accidental attraction created by all three, although in slightly different ways is that of:
The jerk creates an unnatural indifference. His “I don’t give a fuck attitude” about others causes by his selfishness is often negative. It’s more of an emotional indifference.
The bad boy lives an indifferent life so his comes naturally.
The player employs a “take me or leave me” or “I don’t give a shit” attitude ONLY when it’s necessary but does use it unnaturally and with negative side because he his playing a game.
When anyone displays a personality of indifference, real or not, they automatically set themselves up as a challenge.
When someone lives life on their own terms, for better or worse, they can all too easily be seen as a challenge. The challenge can be anything but in this case, it’s the attractive edge.
“Women do NOT want to be given their next lover, boyfriend, or casual date without any real challenge. We put a higher value on what we work hard for and this includes personal relationships.
There’s a deeper level of attraction we can reach with women if we challenge them just enough to “step up her game.” We must be a natural “man commodity” which also engages the specific emotional attachments women tend to put along side attraction.”
There’s no doubt in my mind ANY nice can be a real challenge to women without becoming a jerk.
He can easily and naturally be indifferent IF and ONLY IF he understand what real indifference is and is not bothered with creating a false “I don’t give a fuck” attitude.
Let’s get positive and see how the nice guy or “the nice guy approach” can use this powerful attraction mechanism or trait to become a more attractive “good” guy.
Put yourself and your passions first in YOUR life.
Do NOT let your passion be women in general. Find your own way and do things that make YOU happy.
You do not need to be a possessive jerk.
Be confident, decisive, and extremely clear at those pivotal moments in any relationship or interactions.
Here are a few examples:
Do not ask, “Do you want to commit and not see other people?” when you want to take things to the next level.
Instead say, “I enjoy being with you. I want you in my life exclusively.”
Do not ask, “Do you like me?”
Assume if she’s having a good time then she is into you.
Here is what you can do to eliminate those weaker signals “nice guys” give which only show her his life does, or will revolve around:
- Substitute all weak questions with confidence and charm.
- Substitute your uncertainty with decisive actions when the time is right.
- Substitute ambiguity with clear signals so she can feel safe in your leadership and trust in your decision-making process.
- The more you live for yourself the more she will naturally assume you’re a strong man who can be a leader in the future.
You should know you can do practically anything when you live your own life because it will never by misconceived as being a cheap tactic.
To her it’s genuine.
The more you gain this independence in your life the more you can stop conforming to all the stupid dating rules you might read about.
You CAN call her the next day.
You CAN buy her a drink.
You CAN compliment her.
BUT ONLY when you live your own life and follow a few other important guidelines.
That’s the great part about learning to attract this way.
The rest becomes almost trivial or so non-important women will just look forward to being a part of your life.
Let me make this very clear.
This is NOT meant to be taken to the extreme.
The last thing you want to be is arrogant or set up your life so you become a self-centered prick because you’ll certainly go over to the other side there.
The first reason you’re doing this is because way too many nice guys are indecisive. They are also always asking her “what she wants” or “what she want to do” or asking her how she feels about him because they’re afraid of rejection and then some.
It’s time to start taking charge and leading YOUR life.
The second reason is because all those man types above achieve this “indifference” or “dominance” or “challenging attitude” which normally have a negative effect on any future arrangements BUT the traits women often feel is the same… ATTRACTION.
The third reason is to indirectly show women you DO have a life outside of them. You ARE independent.
You’re not about giving up your life, time, and whatever in the hopes a woman will like you back for it.
Live your own life and women will be more likely to become attracted to you because:
Four consistent traits of an attractive person are: Strong. Independent. Determined. Decisive.
All qualities which attract women in ways you must experience to see how extreme they are to women.
All qualities which show women you’re a real challenge. All which demonstrate a certain indifference. Again, when done the right way.
When you focus on your life and your passions without all the negative edges those guys have, you can still “play” nice and she will feel the same way about you.
I’ll turn you to something I studied which helped me gain this in my life.
It’s called 77 Laws Of Success With Women & Dating – “Learn All My Best Concepts And Techniques For Succeeding With Women In The Fastest Amount Of Time Humanly Possible”
I loved it so much that when I bought it, I wrote all of them down so I would never forget them. Put them in a journal and wrote how each one pertained to my life (at the moment) and how it could change after I applied a specific law.
Your life is your own so own up to it. Follow your passions. Follow your dreams.
Don’t try to challenge women with cheap tricks and bad tactics and negative bullshit… BE a challenge.
Don’t try to be indifferent. Don’t live or die based on whether or not she’ll like you, reject you, not fall in love with you, etc… SHOW indifference by simply living day to day and following your passions and dreams and the things that make you happy.
Strong – Having the power and strength to live your own life and stand by your convictions.
Independent – Be happy for yourself despite what others think or believe. Follow your own path.
“Most “nice guys” fail here not because they don’t have a social life, for one, but they actually believe you need a certain social life to succeed with women.” – Building A Successful & Attractive Social Life, Step 1- What’s Wrong?
Determined – Failure is a learning tool. If something isn’t working, do something different. Fluid perseverance with confidence.
Decisive – Stand by yourself and the decisions you make which make sense. Lead yourself and women will stand with you.
We’ve only touched upon this because it’s a big one so start today…
Your Life Revolves Around You and No One Else.