I really need your help. There’s this girl whom I love her and she knows it. But after knowing she has started taking me for granted. How to gain her interest in me?
First of all, don’t waste your time trying to get a woman interested in you especially if she knows you’re already in love with her. It’s too late and honestly, interest is NOT as important as creating attraction and/or love.
Secondly, I don’t know HOW she knows but it’s a good bet you TOLD HER and that’s NOT a good thing.
Never ever tell a woman you love her before she says it to you unless you can absolutely say without a doubt, you’re completely positive, you’ve already been intimate with her in some way, AND that she’s going to say it back!
Read my article on why you shouldn’t admit your deeper feelings before her and the circumstances when it’s okay – Should You Admit Your Feelings Before Her?
Third – what’s the deal man? Do you REALLY want this type of woman so badly that when the moment she knew you loved her, she started taking you for granted? I’m assuming by granted you also mean “taking advantage of” you too.
Not good either way.
If a woman starts to act like she “owns” you after she finds out or realizes you love her, something is definitely wrong. I’d say in most circumstance this happens when a guy reveals his “more than friendly” intentions to a girl and she won’t reciprocate them back. Which is fine. But when she starts using them against you, that’s a BIG problem.
There are other circumstances when this happens as in when you’re involved with her in a more than friendly way. When it happens in this case – then revert to my previous statement, there’s something wrong with her which makes her feel she can take you for granted now and decides to abuses it or hold it against you.
Whether she’s taking advantage of you by having you do favors for her or buy her things or hook her up OR she’s taking you for granted by settling in and letting you do all the work in the relationship – something’s wrong.
Meaning – it’s time to walk away and search for a woman who will not do this to you.
Now if you’re just friends and she found out about it through you, your actions, or somebody else said gave it away, then you have another problem altogether. You’re in HER FRIENDS ZONE and escape is not very probable. Most of these deeper cases involve way too much work and there’s no guarantee. Although you can try my Escape the Friends Zone (Free Online Ebook) it is more helpful to eliminate the friends zone that it is to escape it.
If you must insist against all warnings… if you feel she’s worth trying something, here’s the plan you must follow… in order:
Own up to what you said. It happened. It’s not the end of the world. It’s who you are and you’re working on it.
If you must talk to her about how you feel, do it in a way which doesn’t make you look like a wussy who can not handle his emotions. You could tell her how you won’t put up with being taken for granted but it’s probably best just to show her by following the advice below.
Start seeing other women. You’re not committed to her. It’s okay to date around. Have fun with it and who knows, maybe you’ll meet a girl you like even better who won’t play games.
She must begin to see you as the prize. She must begin to wonder if she missed something or judged you too quickly. For her to get interested (better yet attracted) in you again she has to see how other women are interested in you too.
Start qualifying her and expect her to meet the qualities you look for in a woman. Yes, I understand you think you’ve already found her but trust me, there’s always more to look into when it comes to women, especially if they’re taking you for granted.
Secure your willingness to let her go. This is very important because it will erase some doubt in her mind that just because you’re a guy who has professed his love, does not mean you want to make her a wife or even a girlfriend… just yet.
To you it simply means,
“That’s who I am. I don’t say it often. But I say what I’m feeling. And I’m working on that (wink wink)”
Be a little sarcastic about it. Hint you’re humble and understand you have certain weak points but they’re not a big deal to you.
You’ve got everything under control.
Slowly but efficiently STOP doing favors for her.
Do not let her use you for anything she can do herself. She must understand that taking you for granted is NOT okay and just because she knows how you feel, doesn’t give her the right to GET things or favors from you.
Reply less and take more time responding to any phone calls or messages you get from her. Take your time getting back to her. Let her wait.
“Being hard to get does NOT have to be a game. It only means you ARE hard to get.” – Being Hard To Get or How To Become One Without Playing Games
You have a life and you will fit her in when it’s right for you, not her. It’s a tough one but it MUST be done. Start seeing her less. Stop talking to her so much. Get busy. Stay busy. Do things outside her that you love to do.
Now I’m not asking you to become a dick. Merely stating that she needs to understand that taking YOU for granted just because she knows you love her is NOT an option. It’s not something you’re willing to allow and if she doesn’t like it, so be it.
When she asks, just say you’re busy. Nothing more. If she pries reply in a funny cocky way, start using her “accusations” against in a way which is true but has a comedic edge to it. “What, don’t tell me you’re becoming obsessed over me.” “Really, acting all needy already. Haha!! We barely know each other”, take a sort of cocky statement like she’s chasing you and turn it into a fun flirty thing.
If this is something you need to work on because it’s an amazing skill to have which ONLY when done properly creates a ton of attraction and makes a bold confident statement to ALL women – GET THIS IMMEDIATELY: Cocky Comedy – “How To Use Cocky Comedy To Make Women Feel Instant Attraction And Literally Addicted To Being Around You” so you don’t fuck it all up and act like some ass that she’ll never talk to again.
The point is that you need to start communicating to her in a different way which says you get it.
Stick the plan and it will peak her interest in you which can recreate or build some attraction. If she doesn’t like it and blows you, that’s a good thing because she probably dumped you because you can’t control you anymore and you don’t want to be messing with a control freak woman. Trust me on that!
You must get back what you gave away but in a good way. Not the forceful kind of stuff which will only make you look like a jealous ass.
Do it all for yourself and your dignity.
“The more you gain this independence in your life the more you can stop conforming to all the stupid dating rules you might read about.” – Your Life Revolves Around You, Nice Guy Solves A Tough Rule of Attraction
It all must be done with that these things mind: Your dignity. Your respect. Your freedom to love your life on your own terms.
If you question any of it or what you’re doing when you go outside the box and act more for yourself (which I hope you do and will) just ask yourself this:
Is what I’m doing or saying raising myself up to a higher standard I want to put on myself? (Which is the right reason.)
Is what I’m doing only lowering her down a level just to make myself appear better? (Which is the WRONG WAY.)
I’ve shown you just a few ways you can start creating attraction and regaining her interest. Hopefully any guy out there who is suffering from this, told a woman way too early, or feels like they’re being taken advantage of by a girl can get enough of it back by following this advice too.
I will insist though – IF you’re being taken advantage of, being used, made to be at her every command, WALK AWAY immediately before she really hurts you. No respectful nice guy should ever have to put up with that… period!
All the best.