Real attractive men, the type that attracts women beyond their looks, are affected by someone they find attractive BUT they don’t allow that attraction to dictate how they act or the actions they take with regards to them.
This means it’s okay to admit, “Yes, I find you attractive.” or “Yes, I’m feeling attracted to you.”
Attraction can and will affect you as a guy. It’s the way it works and you can not avoid it and why would you anyways. Who wants to turn it off when it feels so good and we’re assuming you can turn it off anyways… which you can not.
The difference between a naturally attractive man (beyond his looks) and a guy who is not with regards to women is how he lets that attraction affect how he acts or the actions he takes for her or around her.
“Nice guys, okay well (too many guys), tend to put “hotter” more physically attractive women on a pedestal.” – The Real Problems Of An Attractive & Beautiful Woman
Think about how many men suddenly start acting different around a hot woman. Think about how they stare. How they check her out. Undress her with their eyes. Talk about her with their guy friends. It’s not only pitiful but extremely unattractive.
Women who have any self-esteem or confidence never feel much attraction for men who act this way.
They want a guy who sees her as more than just a hot chic. They want a guy who is not constantly seeking her attention – just because she’s hot. They want or feel a deep attraction towards men who expect more from her and challenge her at the same time.
Women have men coming on to them all the time. They have been there and done it. The more experience she has the more it bores her. If you “act” like those other guys the more you’ll fade into her background. You’ll be just like every other guy who she sees as only wanting to get in her pants.
“REAL men are so rare in this world that if you simply learn how to ACT like one, a woman will instantly assume that you’re a “catch”…” On Being A Man
If you’re a good guy – BE a good guy. It’s okay. Just don’t do her favors, give her things, be there for her in a needy way, or treat her differently JUST because she’s hot and you want her.
This does take some training. That I understand. If it’s part of who you are or have been you will have to work on eliminating this from your life.
You can start by becoming more aware of when it’s happening.
Stay in the present more so you notice it and can them step back and start doing something different.
Watch closely as other guys are doing it and you’ll quickly see how pathetic and unattractive it is.
Think about the many scenarios where a woman might use her beauty to get something from you. Think about the many ways a woman can test you by using her attractiveness to get you to reveal your true (possible ass-kissing approval seeking) self. Trust me, the experienced woman can do it very quickly.
Come up with a plan which has you staying in your world and not letting her drag you into hers where she know her looks are dictating your every action.
Remember this IS the nice guy approach.
You don’t have to start acting like a jerk or ass.
I’m not saying to put her down, treat her like shit, ignore her, or play games with her just because she’s hot and you want to show her she can’t get away with acting that way around you.
That’s the other end of the spectrum and unless you have something else going on OR she is the type of woman who only goes for guys like that (which you don’t want anyways because they will wreck you) it does NOT work.
It’s a very limited belief to think that women only fall for jerks. We’d have to assume that every guy in the world who is dating or married to someone is a jerk and that’s just not the truth. Stay positive. Most people are relatively kind and are not out to hurt others. Sure they might have a normal healthy selfish human agenda to survive but the last thing they want is to harm or hurt someone.
A person is generally good which means good people meet other good people and hook up or date or get married. Other issues get in the way of their relationship failures or hardships.
The key to this piece of advice “Never Let Her Looks Or Beauty Alone Affect Your Actions” in making you a more attractive man is to first understand the two extremes – one being a total dick, the other extreme is being a total kiss-ass only out to seek approval. Avoid both.
Somewhere in the middle you’ll find that a naturally attractive man doesn’t do things to gain approval. He doesn’t do things to put others down. He doesn’t treat a woman like a goddess just because she’s hot and he definitely doesn’t shit all over her or put her down just because she’s attractive.
Connect with her mind and her personality.
Respect and admire her beauty. Compliments are fine when done appropriately.
Flirting is okay too.
Just don’t do all that stuff because you’re trying to get something from her or because you think she’ll like you more for it.
You however DO need a sexual edge if you want to become sexual with a woman and I see no reason to hide that fact from her just because she’s hot.
If you want to be practice chivalry than you better do it with every woman and not just the hot ones.
You want to make her laugh then you better be doing it with every other woman too.
The trick, to further your dating experience with the women you’re attracted to is how you lead her in the direction YOU want to go and how you do it with confidence, humbleness, maturity, humor, body language and real sexual communication. Don’t lead a woman you’re not attracted to in that direction and that’s the key difference.
Never let her looks or beauty alone affect your actions just because you want her.