Nice guys are way too worried about how women see them but they don’t notice how women really react when they avoid doing the ONE thing which can make them a naturally more attractive and sexy guy.
Think about what goes on in HER mind when we fail to take the next step.
Think about how we’re so concerned that she won’t like us for being less than we “think” we are AND we KNOW it’s not attractive, BUT…
We continue to avoid taking those early and important (smaller) risks which when avoided leave a far worse image.
No matter where I went, there was always a thought in the back of my head a woman was waiting for me there… It was ALWAYS going to be THAT day.
I’m going to meet some “hot chic” magically and she’ll adore me, fall madly in love with me, and my life-long search for a real girlfriend would finally come true.
Sadly so, the outcome never matched what I had dreamed in my head.
I would see a “few” women. They would “maybe” see me. I thought I caught a few of their eyes and we’d “check” each other out. I’d wait around for the perfect moment to appear out of thin air as my thoughts wandered into the future and back down the shitty road of my past loneliness.
Needless to say, NOTHING would ever come from it as I felt destined to go home once again… alone with nothing to show for it but a “possibility”.
… And so, as the story goes for so many other guys living that life full of fear, nothing ever happened because most of the time I would be sitting on my ass “waiting” for something to happen rather than taking a real risk to MAKE something happen.
SHE would have to make the first move every step of the way from the introduction or meeting to getting a phone number and all way to that first kiss.
One particular evening sticks out in my mind.
It was at a semi-pro baseball game. I peered over a friend’s shoulder and there she was glowing like some angelic goddess. She looked right back at me. I was afraid she would think I was some sort of freak so I turned away. A scared nice guy move that instantly proved instantly to her that I had absolutely no confidence at all.
We went back and forth about four times that evening. I would get up for a drink hoping she would be watching. Waiting to make her move on ME of course.
Thinking about it now I find myself wondering what that poor woman felt.
First, those boyish stares of mine could have easily been seen as creepy, annoying, or worse yet, a stalker.
Secondly what if she was genuinely attracted to me and I made her feel even worse by not having the balls to approach her.
She might have gone home thinking how unattractive she was because of my lack of confidence. Her self-esteem lowered unwittingly by a gentlemen she found physically appealing at least in some way.
Which brings me to this…
Communicating with women in a raw sexual way doesn’t have to be doing dangerous things; being a real sexy man simply requires you to live more in the moment and take those small risks you keep avoiding out of fear.
Imagine you’re her for a moment…
WOMAN – You glance over at this decent looking guy. For some reason you find his face warm and inviting. You notice him smiling out of the corner of your eye so you give a soft glaze and he looks back. Your heart flutters a little and you start thinking,
“It’s so hard to find a great guy these days and who knows, he might be the one. I wonder what he does. I wonder what his name is. Shit! He looked away. Is there something on my face. Is he with someone? Damn! Why did I leave the house tonight with my hair looking like this. What was I to do? I was in a hurry and it IS only a baseball game. “
Some time passes.
“Oh wow. Let me take another look at him. I just can’t help myself. Who is he? Wow! He’s looking back again. Damn! He looked away again. What is with this guy? Doesn’t he see me? Is he looking at someone else? Is there a scoreboard or some beer vendor behind me I’m missing?”
Back to us… nice guys…
Notice the mirrored thoughts between me and her. Notice her indecision, confusion, her internal process brought on and made worse through our indecision to DO something.
I was thinking like a woman waiting to be approached… and not a man willing to take a risk. I was just some lame dude without any courage around the opposite sex who was afraid to risk rejection.
There are so many possibilities missed if I had taken a chance but not one possible good “lucky” outcome the other way… by doing nothing.
Women find men who step up and take the lead VERY sexually appealing AND attractive.
“The goal must be this if any “nice guy” is to achieve success with women: Become a REAL man who just happens to be a good guy.” – The Reality Of Attracting Women: Real Men Can Be Good
You see in this game of attraction and sexual communication it only takes a little bit of courage. A hint of masculinity.
A small showing of confidence in moments when something needs to be done.
There’s no need to jump out of a plane or climb a mountain to be brave or look fearless or to sexually attract woman.
We’re NOT required to show massive amounts of bravado which would only put our lives in danger.
We just have to do something a little different and take the risks and women WILL notice.
Sometimes we just have to step up and face those small fears…because that’s the ONE thing any nice guy can do to increase his sexual communication to all women which is easy.
Doing those things, being that guy, tasking those risks when they pose no real danger to us or her are (normally) ALL a woman needs to see to form a strong attraction to us “nice guys”.
Think about all those moments you missed before. Write them down…
- What were you afraid of happening?
- What was your excuse for not trying?
- What really stopped you from changing your destiny those nights?
- Why didn’t you “make a move”?
- What was the real risk?
Think about ALL the rewards of constantly and consistently taking those little steps you keep missing or avoiding and add them up.