The nice guy is a type of man we often put in the loser column of life with regards to success with women.
It’s like we don’t have any choices and it almost feels like we have to take what is given to us. We’re “supposed” to be happy with whatever we can get it because our “niceness” will never attract the “hotter” women.
I understand this might be just me and I don’t want to speak for every nice guy and his goals but…
Who knows, maybe I’m different. Maybe I’m not.
Maybe it’s a guy thing.
Maybe, and I’m going to put my money on this one, it’s something I’m more than willing to admit where the other guys won’t or can not. Probably because of their niceness.
Nowadays life is different for me but I can NOT remember a time that wherever I was, whatever I was doing, with NO exceptions, my eyes were always drawn to the hottest women and I wanted HER.
Settling was NEVER an option.
Oh sure, there were a few times I screwed with less but it didn’t make me happy and it certainly meant if some girl wasn’t at the top of my list, no matter how hard she tried, she would NEVER become my girlfriend.
I shouldn’t have to tell you what this did for my sex life.
It also made me an angry spiteful man who blamed all my problems on women. Yes, ALL of them because it felt like if I couldn’t be with the women I wanted, the rest of life came in second.
My happiness was dependent on women.
As a nice guy, besides the quick temper which others often blamed on my passion and creativity, I hid it well.
Well at least I thought I did.
I can NOW see very clearly how each and every one of those “hotties” saw through my act and was only a small part of all the reasons I could never be with them. The old cliché holds true… “If I only knew then when I know now.”
All this also meant my life centered around women entirely.
I wouldn’t do something if there wasn’t a chance I could get laid. I wouldn’t go anywhere, do anything, be somewhere, unless there was a chance of some hot “chic” was grave us with her presence.
You might also guess what that did to my social life AND what it meant later as each night I would fail had me going home miserable but while there, putting on my cool happy face, just in case.
My life was…
Just in case I might live out some freaking fairy tale movie like bullshit chic flick and get lucky with the hottest girl there.
She’s see me. Finds me. Falls in love with me. And in the very least, fuck me and I’d be the best lay of her life because nice guys have to be better in be because we’re more concerned with getting her off than ourselves.
Then I’d show them all.
Then my life would be different.
Then I’d finally be able to succeed in the “other” parts and I could start living the life I was putting off.
You must admit that’s a lot pressure to put on women and if they felt that pressure which was often masked by my nice guy persona, would be another reason to run hard and run fast from me. We can put that up as yet another reason nice guys are in the loser column with regards to “hotter” women.
The pattern is all too clear now and may center around a bunch of “ifs” for you as a nice guy, but based on my life story, once it was all pointed out to me, became so painfully obvious I knew there was turning back.
As nice guys, when we admit these truths, we’ve enter the first step of allowing the attractive guy inside all of us to come out without having to resort to the other side of attraction…
If we can stop seeing ourselves as being losers with women…
If we can begin to see choices where before we felt helpless to choose…
If we can admit we’re not guaranteed happiness just because some hot chic will fuck us or not…
If we can stop blaming women for the problems in a life WE created for ourselves…
If we can admit our true feelings at least to our private mind of what we really want…
If we can stop revolving our life around being close to women we felt we can never have, just in case…
If we can stop trying to prove our worth to others and howit’s based on the type of women we’re willing to be seen with…
If we can stop thinking our life would be different…
What are YOUR ifs…?