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The Nice Guys Approach To Attracting Women

How Women Become Obsessed Over A Guy & How You Can Create It Naturally

in How Attraction Works, Obsession Infatuation Deep Attraction

Women become obsessed over guys all the time.

Probably not you, right? Yeah I hear you. Been there, done that.

Maybe there was a few you didn’t want anything to do with but they don’t count. You were not attracted to them and they still chased you. Since you ARE a nice guy, just using her (or them) for sex was or is NOT an option.

Let’s think about this…

Do you really want a woman to become so obsessed or infatuated over you that you don’t ever have to do anything? You can just sit back and reap the rewards of having total control over the situation.

This also might mean late night phone calls, drunk texts, women constantly seeking your approval, and wherever you go, she’s going to find you. Bwhahaha!!!

Yeah I know, those are extreme cases.

What I just described is a typical nice guy “dream” but the reality is, something nice guys don’t seem to think about is….

Most of the time a woman’s infatuation or obsession over a guy is hidden in the background of his life.

He’s totally unaware of just how much she is thinking about him. He’s going about his daily life bumping into to her occasionally, maybe texting or talking to her once in a while (if that), and behind the scenes she can not get him out of his head.

Something happened between the two of them where he “entered” her mind. She was most likely unsure or confused about something he was doing. He wasn’t clear about what or who he wanted from her or women in general.

Maybe there was some physical attraction at first but it’s not really “that” necessary.

For women, under most average circumstances, the attraction comes later and once the attraction is set in place, THAT is when her infatuation gets wound up higher and higher until she can not get the guy out of her head.

Whether he’s a nice guy or not doesn’t matter although there’s a reason we see it happening more with bad boys or jerks or players. (Make sure sign up below as your shown many ways those guys attract women and how you can do the same – while still being a good guy.)

All that means you ARE capable of making it happen and you were not doing on purpose so it’s all cool.

It also means it’s something you can do with women you ARE attracted to so keep reading. The HOW is coming.

A woman can become infatuated or slightly “obsessed” over any guy, anytime… anywhere.

It’s just most guys either don’t know how to make it happen OR as stated above, are totally unaware a certain woman is over-analyzing his every move.

AND maybe more importantly, creating that obsession feels manipulative to most “decent” guys.

What do you think – Is creating a woman’s obsession towards a good or bad thing?

That’s up to you to decide for yourself and not me.

I say “purpose” or “with intent” separates the players from the guys who “accidentally” create this obsessive trigger.

There’s a definite “natural” way to have it more likely to happen through a man’s lifestyle, his communication to others including men and women, his character, how he approaches life, and probably but definitely not lastly, his strength of physical and emotional restraint …

Leaving an unlimited combination which will set the infatuation in motion almost every time.

Unfortunately, changing all those things can feel like a lot of to work to guys who are set in their ways. This extra work can make it appear to the guy that it is in fact a bad manipulation or a player’s only move. Or maybe they’re as lazy as I was or certainly can be on any given day.

Hey, I’m willing to admit changing so many things about yourself and what you do CAN be a lot of work. Whether it’s worth it is again, up to you. I think it is because I thought it was and DID make so many of those important changes which allowed women to develop attraction up to and meeting infatuation mixed with the occasional obsession.

Consider the list above:

Your lifestyle.

“What do you like to do and are you meeting single women while you’re doing it?”Building A Social Life, Step 2 – Are You Meeting Single Women?

The nice guy lifestyle is normally seen as boring. He won’t take risks and avoids any and all confrontation. Good in some circumstances where physical harm is most probable but tends to be avoided by him in situations when it’s actually needed or essential for attractive growth.

You don’t have to cliff dive or  “run with scissors” BUT if you don’t find how you live exciting, if you’re afraid to talk about what you do because you find it boring and unappealing, if you seclude yourself, avoid LIVING with purpose and intent – well then you’re not going to find many women thinking about you.

AND you’re more likely to ALWAYS be there for her as if your life revolves around HER making it extremely unlikely she’ll think about you enough to cross from attraction to infatuation and beyond.

Your communication to others including men and women.

“Your new style of communication is to let her come to her own conclusions slowly; no matter what those conclusions happen to be, is NOT your concern.”Do These Six Things & Stop Talking To Women – Start Communicating Attraction

A little too reserved. Afraid to speak your mind. Avoiding sexual topics out of fear of crossing a line and coming across as an ass. Again, sometimes those are good things but most of the time…

Being real and genuine while communicating yourself is not only much more effective in creating attraction it shows a trait others will respect and look forward to being around on a daily basis.

While your lifestyle stops you from being there all the time – your communication becomes more sought out and appreciated by others –  you have the making of getting women to sit up and take notice to you in ways you might have never experienced before.

Let’s skip the character part for now because it may involve everything about you and is a little harder to describe quickly.

However restraint is HUGE.

“Nice guys don’t have to play hard to get. They only need to create attraction and BE hard to get.”Have You Ever Played Hard To Get With A Woman & It Did Not Work?

Nice guys tend to give it all away too easily. Almost like they can not wait for it to happen. They also tend to believe if they don’t “get” a certain special woman today, they’re going to lose her to some other guy who seems to be waiting around the corner. I call it a terrible sense of urgency”. It causes way too many nice guys to act too quickly doing the wrong things over and over.

Which person would you want more from?

A person who gives it all away too easily and you know it’s there whenever you want it; OR the person who can hold out a little longer than you.

Sex aside – when you go for that first kiss and miss her lips, brushing your cheek against her and then whisper something lovely in her ear – says a lot about your restraint without giving up on the kiss. It says a kiss WILL happen and you DO want it BUT you’re not sure if she’s “deserves” it yet.

Physical restraint can be an art form of classic teasing and incredibly sexy foreplay but it doesn’t have to be just that. Plus it’s easy to do once you see the effects of it working its magic.

Emotional restraint is much harder to achieve because you can’t just treat women like you don’t give a shit about them. Not only is it a jerk thing to do but I’ve found guys who can not attract the women they want and start ignoring them, does nothing at all.

A balance must be achieved. Too little does nothing. Too much is what nice guys already do which pushes women away.

Consider emotional restraint comes from a place of abundance. You HAVE choices. You WANT to choose her. Your lifestyle makes you not too available at any given time. You don’t have to answer her within a few seconds.

It also means you’re NOT afraid of another guy stealing her because you know, without a doubt, you’re WORTH it and if she isn’t there – so be it.

Emotional restraint can be indifference too except that is much hard to “create” without coming off as some arrogant shit head that women don’t normally bother caring about anyways.

The pattern for creating an obsession or what is more commonly referred to as a deeper level of attraction tends to happen the same way almost every time.

There’s a meeting. Usually short and mysterious and a lot of chemistry. She does not have to be physically attracted to the guy but it does help. Sometimes it just starts with eye contact or staring and a meeting doesn’t have to happen.

The guy tends to be a little mysterious and may or may not exchange numbers with her. She finds herself thinking a little about him. He wasn’t all that clear if he liked her or what he actually does think about her. She can even believe he hates her.

There’s a considerable time apart, sometime longer, sometimes shorter. There could be some texting or talking but it’s not usually something which is direct. He’s not giving away too much information about how he sees her.

The guys then becomes a little confusing to her. She just can not figure him out. She wonders what his intentions were or are or if they’re still there.

Call it confusion or mystery or whatever, I believe what she feels is the same either way.

Her mind then tends to over-think his actions or words. What do they mean? Why did he do that? What is happening with him? Does he have a girlfriend of wife? Is he happy with her? Why? What? Anything which causes her mind to slowly but specifically connect everything he does or says having something to do with her or has nothing to do with her at all.

His actions are not simple to her. Others might see it but definitely NOT her. Or she won’t admit she knows the answers. She’s too far into it to notice certain things and even if she does, she’ll usually talk herself or the situation into something way bigger than it actual is.

While nothing really has to happen or they can even have something happen like kissing, sex, or a date, doesn’t seem to make much of difference depending on her and the guy.

The pattern happens.

Noticing it and how and why nice guys tend to ruin the process makes it even clearer to see and easier to make happen naturally or not.

There’s definite connection either eye contact, meeting, a date, a kiss, or sex.

The guy’s not direct or overly direct deflecting certain things which appear confusing to her.

The more she thinks about him, the more confusing or mysterious he becomes, the more she’s open to thinking about him ( depending on who she is) the more her attraction grows and grows.

This can last for weeks, months, or years, all the while nothing or something can happen. It doesn’t matter and again, depends on her.

Now…

Think about all the natural (like the ones written above) and not-so-nice or unnatural ways some guys create that deeper attraction.

Think about how it can happen regardless of a physical attraction being there from the beginning.

There’s a meeting. Some form of communication which is above and beyond typical. Of course it’s more likely to happen with real attractive communication but it’s not necessary.

A clear separation happens based on your lifestyle which stops you from becoming overly needy, pushy, and you’re just not there for her at given points in time. You’re not answering her quickly or ever.

Your physical and emotional restraint (better mixed with teasing) confuses her a little. You’re somewhat clear as to what you want but you’re not overly clear you want it with HER.

Put it all together and MOST guys will find it easy to do IF of course they’re not making stupid nice guy mistakes women tend to see through all too easily. You see normally, if she gets you one way or another, the attraction or infatuation or over-thinking bubble pops and suddenly you become something ELSE to her. 

There’s another wonderful piece of this obsession concept which was first taught to me by my first teacher of attraction and women, David DeAngelo. I’m not entirely positive but I believe it’s from his advanced dating techniques program which is quoted below.

How do you make someone want something?

  • Tell them they can’t have it.
  • Give value to it.
  • Make it scarce.
  • Connect it to something else they want.
  • Make it beneficial.
  • Make them work for it.
  • Prove that other people want it also.
  • Make it a challenge.

Get Advanced Dating Techniques from David DeAngelo

Notice how when combined or intertwined with the pattern above this works even better.

Notice how again, good or bad, both can be used together to create an obsession.

Notice how within each of those items listed above – Lifestyle, Character, Communication, and Restraint – exists a natural way to make others want something which in the world of women, means YOU.

A women’s obsession, her infatuation, or this deeper level of attraction was not entirely covered today but I do feel we’ve brought up a few key areas, points, and questions to consider…

  • Do you really want women to become obsessed over you?
  • DO you think it’s ethical or a nice guy thing to create?
  • If you’ve experienced it before with a woman you didn’t want, don’t you think it’s possible to create that deeper attraction with women you DO want?
  • Do you believe it’s possible to have all this happen naturally with just a few changes in how you live your life, your character or beliefs, HOW you communicate to women, and your emotional and physical restraint in many areas of your life?

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About the author: Creator of the nice guy approach, why do guys, why do chics, and DiaLteG TM. Transformed from a nice guy kiss ass who wanted women to like me for “who I was” to an attractive “good guy” who knows what it takes to create attraction and succeed with women, dating, and relationships.

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