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The Nice Guys Approach To Attracting Women

How Triggering Attraction Really Works For Women – The Dimmer Switch

in How Attraction Works

Let’s talk about triggering attraction.

If you don’t follow “seduction reports” or if this is your first introduction to attraction “others” talk about switches…

They claim women have this built-in natural response which can make them feel attracted to you.

These switches trigger her attraction mechanism causing her to feel something which is beyond her control.

It works (somewhat) the same way yours does.

Meaning when you find yourself physically attracted to a woman, her beauty, her hips, legs, ass, tits, hair, smile, is basically triggering a natural instinctual reaction in you.

Your body chemistry changes and you too begin feeling something you have absolutely no conscious control over… Attraction.

These “triggers” or “switches” built into a woman are EVERY straight man’s dream.

Some men spend their entire lives trying to instantly attract women and unfortunately they typical fail over and over again. because they believe women “feel it” the same way they do.

They spend all their time working on their appearance and some of them ARE good-looking and yes, women DO notice. Women do see the physically attractive.

They can even get a little wet thinking about them.

They DO talk about them.

Some of them WILL have sex with those guys based on their looks alone.

So what happens when you’re not some super hot stud looking dude?

Does this mean you can never create attraction?

Does this mean NO women will ever have her “switch flipped” for you because you’re not good-looking?

Absolutely NOT.

How physically attractive you are and triggering a woman’s attraction are not mutually exclusive which is great news for us average or below looking guys.

Consider these two facts about the natural world we live in:

Men are designed and are able to jump from female to female creating many varied offspring which can go on for as long as he can thrust his ass AND is able to find a mate.

Women have a limited supply of eggs. She can only bear so many offspring. Her investment in sex could leave her “nine months in the hole” and she will have to spend years nurturing her children.

Those two facts carry over to our attraction and how it triggers.

Men feel it almost instantly.

Just as he can “hump” from chic to chic he can feel attraction many times with different women even within one day.

Women notice and feel it a little for “beauty and brawn” but since her investment is much greater, it takes her longer to REALLY feel it.

Sometimes it can be one conversation later, a week, a month, or even a year before she begins to lose control over her “mechanism” or “trigger”.

As my first “seduction” teacher taught me so I too will pass on his great knowledge…

>Women:  “Think -> Feel ->  Act.”
(From What Women HATE Most About Single Guys by David DeAngelo)

From that I’ve realized something equally important…

Successful men: “Feel -> Act -> Think.”

Men who struggle with women: “Feel -> Think and then > Sometimes Act.”

What all this means, when attempting to trigger attraction in women is that you’re probably thinking about it from YOUR point of view and not HERS.

You’re projecting how YOU “work” on to her and that just won’t work consistently, if at all.

So FIRST: You must throw away the word “trigger.” Don’t trust it.

Think of women as having a “dimmer” switch.

You can “turn it up or dial it in slowly.”

You get her to think about you, her, and then she begins to feel the rush in her body. Based on your situation and what you do, can either get her to act accordingly towards you or away from you.

This is precisely how “real” seduction works.

That means you can lead a woman exactly where you want her to go and if you do it right she will be more likely follow you the entire way.

Even IF the “thinking” part is giving her doubts. (Actually if she does have a little doubt it might enhance her attraction over time as she attempts to rationalize it all out thinking and thinking and over-thinking it all.)

Before we get too far ahead of ourselves you must understand within each woman exists a man and within each man exist a woman.

We’re dealing with people here and not robots so expect you’ll find exclusions. You’ll find some women who act more like men and like to be the one seducing you.

AND you’ll also find some women with probably deep emotional problems who will always opt to sleep quickly with the hotter guys as they ignore their truly feminine ways.

BUT those cases are NOT the norm.

Now, her dimmer switch works just as I mentioned above and if you fail to work it the right way you’ll do little to trigger her eventual uncontrollable attraction towards you.

First you must get her to think about you (and her) and the mystery of it all.

Just like a well placed “verse” makes you think you must become her well placed “verse.”

Next – she MUST feel SOMETHING.

There must be an emotional connection.

Good or bad. They all work.

Maybe not all in your favor but without the emotional connection which enhances and builds on her “over-thinking” attraction just will NOT happen.

Lastly – Action.

Probably the toughest of the three. This is where your leadership skills will play a major role.

Most women fear taking action with a man because she risks being rejected and because of social conformity or her upbringing and of course because she risks leaving herself vulnerable to disgrace or actual physical harm.

Sometimes known as the “Anti – Slut” law. Other times it’s because lots of women will refuse to make a first move of any type. To the point where she’ll stay single for long periods of time rather than asking a guy out, for his number, or anything close to it.

I‘ve left all that very vague with little examples because, as you may have guessed it, there are literally thousands of ways to achieve each step.

Which is good news and bad news.

The bad news is there are millions of ways to screw up the “art of seduction” or “triggering attraction” or “turning up her dimmer switch”. Which is why very few men become masters at it.

The good news is, you don’t have to become a seduction master, some hot dude, or physically superior guy to gear up enormous amounts of attraction in women.

Even better is something called… “Time Shifting.” Remember above, how women experience attraction:

“Think -> Feel ->  Act.”

If you become at least moderately good at all this YOU can actually control how quickly she goes from thinking to acting  ( or accepting your actions towards her ) because she’s feeling… attraction.​


Women have “dimmer switch” which means her attraction towards certain men who “work it” takes longer than yours. (If you’re a guy.)

If you only attempt to trigger her attraction in the same way you feel yours (instantly) chances are you’re not going to do good with women, especially if you’re some average looking “nice” guy.

Men who are generally successful with women: “Feel -> Act -> Think.”

Men who struggle with women: “Feel -> Think and then > Sometimes Act.”

Interacting with or engaging her “dimmer” switch means she MUST feel SOMETHING. There must be an emotional connection.

But first she has to think about it. Then after, depending on many factors many of which you, even as a nice guy has control over, she will ACT.

There are endless ways to screw it up BUT there are also many ways to make it happen.

Lastly, take a look below and memorize it:

WOMEN: “Think -> Feel ->  Act.”
SUCCESSFUL MEN: “Feel -> Act -> Think.”
THE OTHER GUYS: “Feel -> Think and then > Sometimes Act.”

How all that happens is entirely up to you. Yes, each step contains “other” things but we’re keeping it easy to accomplish.

If you “feel attracted to a woman your actions (best done through conversations and your voice) must get her thinking about you.

Depending on time and circumstance, she must make an emotional connection to start feeling something (anything) for you BEFORE she’ll act.

It’s best to give her the time and space to think by not playing hard to get by following a lifestyle which makes you hard to get. This page will explain more of that: Being Hard To Get or How To Become One Without Playing Games

This is how you engage her “dimmer” switch.

This is HOW you create attraction in women and why it works differently than yours.

The above concept was first shown to me by David DeAngelo. The rest is my interpretation. I suggest you always do your own research and come to your own conclusions on attraction and women. In other words, make it your own. Follow my link in support of David, me, and your relationships with women by getting the first “real” book on attraction: Attraction Isn’t A Choice. That is my affiliated link.

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About the author: Creator of the nice guy approach, why do guys, why do chics, and DiaLteG TM. Transformed from a nice guy kiss ass who wanted women to like me for “who I was” to an attractive “good guy” who knows what it takes to create attraction and succeed with women, dating, and relationships.

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