The dreaded friends zone. It’s one of every “nice” guy’s worst nightmare.
If you have struggled getting even one woman to become intimate with you, then you KNOW what the friend zone feels like. It’s emotionally painful and you feel helpless to change the situation.
Maybe you’ve gone out on a few dates but never reached any level of intimacy…
Maybe you met her through another friend and you were instantly attracted to her…
Maybe you’ve known her for years and just lately you’ve begun to notice you DO have feelings for her…
BUT you’re just not sure how she feels about YOU!
You hate rejection. The last thing you want to do is put yourself out there only to be disappointed and hurt.
So what do you do?
You start looking for SIGNS,don’t you? You start talking to yourself way too much,
“If she would just give me a clear signal she sees me as more than a friend.”
“If she would just give me a sign telling me it’s okay to kiss her.”
“I hate these games. If she would just tell me how she feels then I would know exactly what to do!”
“There are way too many “nice guys” who are too easy to get.” – Being Hard To Get or How To Become One Without Playing Games
It’s extremely rare for a woman to give you a clear signal she wants more that just a friendship with any guy unless you’re some hot stud movie star or musician where women are drooling over you, making fake Twitter accounts to “show” their love and devotion.
In fact I’ve known women who will always wait for YOU to make a move and if you never do, you get banished to the friend zone because she assumes you’re not interested in HER. Yeah, sucks doesn’t it?
Let’s not dismiss how women will often put you in the friend zone if you have failed to act on your attraction to her. A lack of confidence and experience is a clear signal to most women you would only make a good friend.
Okay before we go any further…
I want to help you out. I want to stop you from making the biggest mistake any man can do when it comes to having a serious intimate relationship with a woman.
Since you’re reading this today there is a great chance you’re at what I would call the desperate stage. You’re starved for a clear answer from her. You’re beginning to feel like the only way to get her to reveal her feelings for you, is to tell her how you feel about her…
Wait. STOP! Okay please – Don’t do it!!!
Never tell a woman how you feel about her until she does first or you’ve definitely been MORE than a friend with her already.
Trust me I’ve been there more times than I care to admit and I can, without a doubt, tell you this fact…
It never changes how she feels about you. It only sets you up for a stinging rejection followed by awkward moments will slowly erode the friendship.
Remember once you say “it” and she doesn’t respond positively or with a REAL kiss, you’ve shut the door to any romantic possibility which may have existed.
You’re going to have to trust me on this and ignore your instincts or that little nice guy in the back of your head trying to tell you how to interact with a woman…
Never tell a woman how you feel about her until she does first OR there has already been clear actions of intimacy.
Here are a few quick scenarios which will hopefully enlighten you to this problem.
- You tell her and she doesn’t feel the same way – you go straight to the friend zone and you’re going to make it that much harder to get out. Telling a woman you’re friends with how you feel when she isn’t feeling the same way will ruin any chance you have with her… ever.
- You don’t tell her and she doesn’t feel anything for you – you leave your options open for creating and building attraction.
- You tell her and she feels the same way – AWKWARD. You’re going to ruin the chemistry. You’re going to make her nervous. You’re going to take her present mind right out of the picture. Worst of all, now you have to force a natural moment.
- Now if you’re going for those higher quality sometimes much hotter women her attraction will actually decrease because now you’ve just displayed how you’re a weak man who instead of taking action through confidence, try talking your way to her. It might be nice at first but sooner or later, things will change.
Remember these actions the next time you want to instead “reveal” your feelings…
When you lean in to kiss a woman – she assumes you’re attracted to her without having to say a word.
When you reach to hold her hand – she knows you’re interested in her without having to say a word.
When you hug a woman correctly – she knows you’re interested in her without having to say a word.
There are so many more things you can do which will let her know what’s going on without having to say more than you should and which will have a greater affect on the attraction between you and her.
Now remember these warnings when you want to do the “tell first – act later” nice guy move…
If you first tell her and then lean in for a kiss – to her it feels like you’re asking permission and you’re that much closer to putting yourself in her friends zone.
You tell her and then reach for her hand – she get’s a little creeped out because mature masculine men don’t ask a woman to feel something for him.
You tell her and then hug her – she assumes you have a lack of experience with women and you might as well be her younger sister because that’s how the hug is going to feel like to her.
Warnings aside… let me tell you a little something about women. Generally speaking because when we’re explaining men and women, nothing is ever 100%. Ever!
They (women) are totally confused by men for one very big reason…
When it comes to love, attraction, dating, relationships, and even just hanging out together ACTION means everything and way too many women get trapped or stuck in situations where the guy isn’t taking that action.
The guy will say this, that, or anything and to her, it’s “supposed” to mean something but to him, it’s not like that because he’s not taking action.
Let’s not get too deep into that stuff today and try to stay on target so I’ll get right to the point.
In her mind, your words mean everything. In your mind, your actions mean more and you know it.
Although your words are given more weight than your actions with women they mean little to nothing unless you’re actually DOING something.
Talking without action confuses women and NOT in a good way.
Yes, I understand the friends zone sucks and you are feeling like you want to do something NOW, something which will change everything, and as a nice guy, revealing your feelings seems to be your only choice… but it’s not.
“Remain objective and not judgmental of yourself. This is not to put yourself down or to make you feel like shit.” – Building A Successful & Attractive Social Life, Step 1- What’s Wrong?
First: Step back or walk away entirely BEFORE you screw it all up.
Second: Focus on building attraction, on being a man lots of women can’t resist, a man who takes action or takes an active role in their own lives and not hers, start spending less “friendly” time with her until you know exactly how that’s done.
You DO have a choice.