Here’s what THIS nice guy did… I treated women “all nice” on the outside but would go home every night bitching about them, calling them every name in the book. These four words were the worst:
Superficial – Apparently I don’t have enough shiny things to give them. My car is cool enough. I don’t have any tattoos. I’m too short and I have a huge space between my two front teeth.
Stupid – Always falling for the players. How can she not see past his bullshit? How can she not tell she’s being used? Come on, she actually believes the lame ass stuff coming out of his mouth?
Masochist – She definitely LOVES being treated like shit. The more drama the better. The more he cheats on her, the more she loves him. The worse she feels with him, the “happier” he makes her.
Blind – Hello,I’m the nice “good” guy you CLAIM you’re looking for but for some reason, look right past me every time. How can you NOT see me? You talk to me all the time. You tell me everything. We connect in so many ways BUT nope, not GOOD enough for you.
You MUST be fucking BLIND, or maybe stupid, definitely a masochist, and without a doubt just another superficial BITCH.
It was always HER and never me.
Desperate and alone – I tried another tactic. Seclude myself from women entirely. Using my failing limited belief system as some warm security blanket protecting me from the pain they inflicted on me.
I declared as if I believed it:
“Fuck it. Who needs women anyways. I’ve gone long enough without them. I feel better and stronger not being in a relationship. I’m happier and more free than those pathetic jerks in anyways. They’re all miserable pricks who don’t appreciate what they have. If I was meant to be alone – so be it! More life for ME!”
The self-declaration of “Guess this is me now.” didn’t work for long. I just couldn’t keep myself away from women no matter how hard I tried. My nice self would just never shut up.
So I tried something different – be a jerk. Yes, I attempted to stop being so freaking nice. Of course since I didn’t know HOW to do that, all that got me was an angry even more depressed world to wake up to everyday AND definitely no closer to getting laid or finding the perfect girlfriend for me.
The years quickly passed and while being younger, others looked past me being single all the time. Maybe some just figured I was gay. Maybe others guessed I was hiding my sexual affairs because of the embarrassment I felt sleeping with THAT or IT.
Things began to change though and the questions started coming,
How come you’re STILL single? Why don’t you have a girlfriend? You need to find a nice girl and settle down already.
Not that they ever helped. No one tried to hook me up with anyone. No one introduced me to a nice girl. Not one of those “people” who were so-called friends or family did ONE thing to get me laid, hook me up, or set me up with anyone – ALL non-advice and action-less.
I needed an excuse and found one quite easily.
I’m not settling for just any old woman. I have high standards and I’m sticking to them. I had haven’t met the ONE, that’s all.
OF course in reality – that was the truth so I had a real excuse and didn’t even have to lie.
BUT it also made things much worse because with each failed non-sexual experience with a woman who did meet my standards became yet another large drop quickly filling a huge pool of despair, loneliness, and misery.
The wind would blow the pool once in while as I thought I was finally going to get lucky but that was quickly replaced by the dead silence of night as the water went still once again.
I went NUMB.
Felt little to nothing of everything.
Eventually – I even forgot to have fun.
It’s all a little too typical, isn’t it?
I wasn’t special. I wasn’t the only guy going through it. I wasn’t really ALONE. My feelings were felt and shared by lots of guys suffering through the same fate day in and day out.
We ALL go through the same emotions, blame game, and loneliness explained away by something we feel wasn’t our choice…
We’re born nice and there’s nothing we can do about it.
Worse yet – it feels RIGHT.
Be nice to women and they SHOULD like us back.
But when it doesn’t and all the negative feelings run around in our minds – we feel worse, why? Because we’re SUPPOSED to be nice.
We hide those emotions and bury them deep inside us making for yet another problem to deal with alongside the loneliness (as if we don’t have enough), the GUILT and SHAME slowly building up inside us with no end in sight.
Makes us question just how nice we really are for having those thoughts, doesn’t it?
Eventually we lose the one thing that made us feel special…
We lose faith in our SELF.
We don’t feel SPECIAL anymore AND we don’t feel “worthy” of any woman.
Some of us DO find a way to settle as we rely on luck and HER to make all the moves. We can find some love for her but it feels hollow and unsupported.
It feels so wrong we begin to hate ourselves even more.
Who are we to tell a woman we love her when some dude inside us is constantly reminding us that we SETTLED. We didn’t get HER, she got US.
Strange how something which “should” make us FEEL like a man (a woman wanting us) can make us feel worse and far from being a real capable and attractive guy.
I have some good news for you…
Those four terrible words listed above are FEELINGS and there’s nothing wrong with having them.
Sure – they’re not nice. No one wants to be called them.
No woman deserves to be labeled or belittled in that way just the same as you wouldn’t like someone talking shit about you negatively.
BUT – they are just feelings to describe how women make YOU feel.
You don’t feel good enough for them. As if you have nothing to offer them that they would want.
You’re looking on the surface and the REAL answer will never be found there.
You don’t feel like you truly understand women. They make you feel dumb because no matter how hard you try – you can never figure out what they really want.
You’re trying to solve the problem in the wrong way. Normal problem solving that gets you by in life just won’t work when it comes to attracting a woman you actually want.
You’re hurting yourself and you’ve grown accustomed to it. You’re feeling something and that’s better than feeling NOTHING at all.
Your brain is a highly advanced computer than can NEVER be proven wrong. It will do everything in its power to prove it’s right even if it means stopping you from getting what you want to assure how you feel about yourself – not good enough for women.
It’s like someone or something is hiding reality from you. You feel like your eyes are closed. Like you’ve been locked in a dark room and NOBODY is going to help you turn on the lights.
Your view of the world has been slowly built from your past experiences. Nothing is hidden from you. You just need to start seeing things from a different perspective.
It was always HER and never you.
One of the hardest things to admit or succumb to is the feeling of constantly being wrong.
You DO feel it’s always YOU and never her.
The choice is not really a choice here, is it? If you admit to always being wrong you’ll never win or succeed, leaving you with little room to do anything else but to blame something outside yourself that you have no control over at all.
You KNOW it’s not true but the choosing to believe the other – only makes you feel worse.
I am NOT giving any guy an excuse or the freedom to call women names or to classify all females into a negative category.
So don’t do it!
I’m simply trying to help you get through all your feelings and by doing so will leave you more free to get past them in a healthy way.
Remember – I’ve been through all this. Those were my words to describe women and not yours. They may be similar to your thoughts but I’m the one who wrote them down.
What I’ve discovered is that nice guys face huge dilemmas in their head. They’re generally good people yet their experiences in the world (especially with women) leaves them with a lot of negative feelings which they bury down and refuse to let out.
The contradiction causes their minds to block out so much stuff and stops them from getting in touch with their real feelings – and if they’re not aware or willing to admit them – makes it very difficult to communicate to others (again especially the opposite sex) in an attractive way.
Seems odd for me to tell ANY man that he needs to get in touch with their feelings but it’s the absolute truth.
I teach women the same thing. For a woman to connect with ANY man on an emotional level she needs to first understand her own feelings.
That same goes for nice guys alike.
If you want connect and ATTRACT women – you must first connect with yourself and getting down deep inside yourself to find out what really hiding beneath this nice guy persona is a great place to start.
I am NOT opening up the comment section below for anyone to start bitching about women UNLESS it can be explained with an emotion or feeling which will lead to something more positive, enlightening, and beneficial.
BUT I’d love to hear about what going on inside your head after reading all this.
AND if you want to still be a decent guy and learn how to attractively communicate to women then make sure you read my free book below.