The typical nice guy believes women don’t find him sexy and he’s probably right.
Maybe it’s how he looks, a little of how he acts, and a belief that being sexy (as a dude) is reserved for the raw untamed sexuality certain men exude.
Don’t get me wrong. Women DO find those things sexy on a guy but there’s always more to it. There’s not a clearly defined template women adhere to which works for every one of them.
Me? I am certainly not the stamped-out prototype of a sexy guy, something learned early in life. Never in my earlier life did I believe I could be seen as sexy. I was too short and a little skinny. Sure I had a great body back then but muscles (alone) don’t make a guy sexy.
“21 women tell what makes a man sexy. The fact that almost none of the answers had anything to do with physical appearance was very refreshing.” 21 Women On What Makes A Man Sexy
Borrowed from The Thought Catalog
So I didn’t think I could be sexy and suffered from an all too common fear which stopped me from “tapping” into my sexy self… A fear of being judged by women as just another pig slash asshole who was only out to get laid and play women.
Here is what I’ve learned in my old age which hopefully can help you become a nice guy who happens to be sexy too because like everything else in attraction, being nice has little to do with it. In this case in can enhance the sexiness of you but it’s not the driving force.
Whether you’re big, small, ugly, hot, dirty, well manicured, etc… it does not normally matter.
Eliminate the fears of being judged or acting like you’re always going to be judged.
“Courage, bravery, taking a risk, AND putting your balls on the line regardless of the outcome is absolutely one thing a nice guy can do to have his sexual communication with women instantly increase to a desirable level.” If Women Don’t Think You’re A Sexy Guy, Then Start Doing This
Women are going to judge you either way if they’re the judgmental type. People are going to judge you if they’re the judgmental type. No matter what you do, say, or how you act – it’s going to happen and my best advice to you is to get over it as quickly as possible.
If they’re not judgmental, (with regards to women) at some point early on, they’re figuring out how far they’re willing to let YOU take things with them. If you’re not seen as sexy to her, she might make you wait a little longer but being sexy is actually not needed. It helps, but just not necessary.
ALL of your fears in life (not just the ones around women) are stopping you from being the sexiest version you can be of yourself.
The less fear you have in living your own life, the more sexier you will appear to women. Absolutely no doubt about it.
“When you’re not afraid of how your raw masculinity can turn on a woman so easily… You become empowered and take full advantage of the valuable asset of this sexiness… and YOU become your own definition of what sexy is.” Become A Sexy Guy – Where Your Sexiness Comes From and How To Find It
Article is located at DiaLteG TM
Real true confidence.
Confidence is sexy. Ask any woman and she will agree. However if you don’t know what it is and try to fake it, you’ll be seen less than sexy so be careful.
Below is by far a quick great description of confidence as it applies to women.
The 4 unmistakable, magnetic signals that confident men send a woman the moment they meet her.
- An “Easy-Going” Attitude
- He’s “Put Together”
- He’s Humble
- He Has A Sense of Humor
Article is located at DiaLteG TM
Your character in a way is defined by your confidence and in turn makes the unmistakable formula of being sexy.
Inner beliefs which in turn strengthen your emotions.
Again, since David’s stuff is always so perfect and saying this to myself and believing helped me turn into a sexy guy:
Inner Beliefs To Project
- I’m not needy… I keep my power for me.
- I’m in control of my emotional self – outside events don’t destabilize me.
- I can hold back when I choose, and delay gratification.
- I’m not impressed by outward symbols or money and status.
- I put myself and my life first.
- I am indifferent to the outcome of all situations.
- I may be smitten by a woman, but I don’t tell her early on, and I don’t let it “slip” indirectly.
–> Taken directly from “Advanced Dating Techniques” workbook pages 38 and 39. This is an affiliated link.
Project those items and you will be seen as sexy by more women than you will ever even know about because from my experience, it can be intimidating to women.
Emotional fortitude and strength IS sexy and although it takes some time to develop, it’s not beyond any guys reach.
Again, be careful because I’m not suggesting you withdraw or become silent. In order to gain full “sexy” status, showing your emotions the right way (below) is part of it.
What I’m talking about here is strictly inner strength – being able and capable of handling YOUR emotions positively AND the ability to handle others emotions or have them affect you less.
How you move and speak.
Choose your words carefully and remove the bullshit.
ALWAYS have a purpose and a DIRECTION.
Women who get that a guy is always one step ahead of her tend to find him very sexually attractive whether it’s true or not. She only has to believe or want to believe it.
Take up the space around you without interfering with others. You’re not there to stop someone else, just to show how comfortable and secure you are in yourself and space you maintain wherever you are.
Walk free and effortlessly.
Sexy guys have a calculated way about them, their demeanor, their facial expressions, and the manner in which they act and move through the world.
The usual explanation involves, “Extreme comfort in your own skin.”
“99% of men try to behave like nice guys when they meet an attractive woman – even though many (or maybe even most) women only feel attraction around a man that they perceive to be a “sexual threat?”
Get the Complete Education on BODY LANGUAGE! Get women to start noticing you and seeing you as a sexy guy.
This is an affiliated Link
Yes, this may require for some a change in diet, health, and exercise routines because from my experience, makes the “natural” sexy guy much easier to achieve.
All four listed are tied together. You can not generally separate one from the other and achieve full sexiness.
Removing your fears strengthens your emotions and builds your confidence.
Projecting positive inner beliefs also builds your confidence and keeps your emotions in check.
How you move and speak is not just an outward thing for others to see. Work on the first three items and you WILL begin to do them naturally. (Although I do suggest you work on them privately and publicly. I did it and this certainly helped me get there faster.)
These four items are somewhat broad and require work. You can NOT fake being sexy. It becomes a part of who you are.
However, take notice, none of them had anything to do with being nice and changing the good person inside you. In fact, a good guy is far more sexy than just some ass who does some of those things accidentally or purposely to play women.
I don’t like to promote the “nice guy” thing and prefer to use “good guy” because of the stigma attached to the manipulation the nice guy actually does – it may be semantics but to me, that is the REAL difference. Good guys don’t play or manipulate women. They are just who they are.
Being seen as a sexy guy, despite any shortcomings you may feel in the wealth or looks department, is within your grasp and totally attainable.
Doing just a little goes a long way.
Don’t get discouraged just keep moving forward.
The best part about developing your sexiness and your sexual communication is, the exact things listed here today to work on will not only make you a sexy guy, will also propel you further and push you along.
A little more courage, strength, inner beliefs, and relaxed body language give you energy and drive and that’s not counting the feelings you get when you start notice women are checking you out like never before.