My philosophy on dating has grown over the years. It has evolved above and beyond “playing games” because, among many other reasons, the more games you play, the more you’ll find yourself meeting people who will play along with you.
The less “dating” and “attracting” games you play with women the less likely you’ll get them played back on you and generally, the better chance you’ll have of meeting someone who is just as real and upfront as you are with them.
In my view of life – you will always get back what you give out which obviously includes your dating life.
The “nice guy approach to attracting” women means you must understand these few facts:
- You do NOT need to play games to be a REAL man.
- You do NOT need to play women to be seen as an attractive man.
- You do NOT need to PLAY a game or follow any out-dated dating rules to find the woman of your dreams.
Some dating rules are ONLY meant to be followed by those who might be in need of a strict regiment to avoid making the same mistakes they made in the past BUT… at some point, for those who might need of them, sooner or later you must throw them away and rely on yourself to make your own rules.
In my “stuck in the friends zone” days my pattern was always the same:
Fall for a woman. Believe I was in love with her. Give her my full attention regardless of how she felt about me. Eventually spill my feelings for her. Get rejected. Fight it. Beg her to be mine. Try and prove to her I was better than the “other” men in her life. Fight it some more.
Become desperate. Fight that off. Find next woman.
You can see how I NEEDED some sort of regiment or dating rules to follow which helped me break the cycle of rejection. Something different had to be done and sure, following some simple borderline game playing shit was one way of achieving a better outcome. Although I will admit it never felt quite right so I would choose MY rules very selectively.
I say “rules” but what I’m actually referring to is a REAL GAME PLAN because that is what I realized I was actually doing anyways.
There IS a difference and if you’re a nice guy who typically fails with the women you’re attracted to – you DO need a different game plan to start and you must follow it for a personal period which can help you to break the pattern of rejection.
The average nice guy normally doesn’t understand how attraction works, how it’s created, why it’s created, and how him being a good guy is not getting in his way BUT how his overall “niceness” is actually more manipulative than he cares to admit.
It’s easy for him to see how some “other” guys may be playing women or playing by certain rules and getting some but rarely does that give us the entire picture of what is really going on.
In fact if you sign up to my newsletter I show you exactly how each one of those “bad games” or shit those guys pull on women are not working the way you think they are and I show you exactly how to create the same attractive affect without the negative stuff attached to it.
Consider all this before you decide which way you want to go because you DO have options.
The first option is to play games, follow rules, learn tricks and deceit, or basically treat women in a way where your goal is to get her to fall or feel for a guy who is willing to do all that stuff to get her.
The second option is to focus on yourself. Remind yourself of one of my hard rules – Throw away “being nice” and understand GOOD men are and can be highly attractive to women.
This option only requires you to BECOME a REAL MAN which is not only easier but much more rewarding because you never have to stop doing it. You get to be that guy from the moment you meet her. You’ll be giving her the REAL you and believe me, ALL REAL WOMEN appreciate, respect, want, and are highly attracted to that type of guy.
My personal advice to you is to start there right after you get a quick inexpensive education on how attraction works.
“All mentally healthy women desire a REAL man. A blend of sincerity, humbleness, confidence, sensitivity, and yes… masculinity. Most nice guys do not have that edge and fail to spark attraction. They are out of balance. What you’re going to get from this page is all the help you need to learn, understand, AND BECOME a real well-balanced man who will naturally attract women.”
Dating is not a game you play.
A game is normally played when the outcome leads to a winner or a loser and in dating, I just don’t see how or why one partner would want to win. Sure the winning part may be considered finding a girlfriend or a relationship or something like that but isn’t that considered more of a “success” than winning?
Playing a person typically involves one person getting something from someone with little disregard for what that person gets back from them.
The words PLAYING and GAME, combined or not, will never be proven to create happy healthy relationships. Feel free to prove me wrong in the comment section but I DO want proof.
My proof is me, the experiences I’ve been through, all the men and women I’ve seen through my entire life getting together, falling apart, or succeeding in their relationship, AND no matter which way I choose to go or act – always led me back to the same conclusion:
Being the best man I can be is far more attractive, rewarding, more beneficial to a longer lasting overall happiness, than ANY rule or game can ever produce because let’s face it:
When you PLAY a DATING GAME or anything along those lines – sooner or later the game WILL END and all you’re left with is an empty feeling and some lame ass trophy to show off to others who won’t revel in your accomplishment at all.
Me, I’d take the latter any day. A longer lasting overall happiness that never ends.