ALL “normal” women want men whose lives do not revolve around them or women in general.
Sure that includes guys who go out all the time picking up different women just to get laid BUT it also includes guys who are greatly affected by any one particular woman.
Let’s say a woman is only slightly attracted to you and she suddenly begins to notice you are building YOUR life around her. How your time is in one way or another changing to accommodate HER.
This will actually destroy the attraction. Not entirely. Some will actually like it and say they are enjoying it BUT inside they’re feeling less towards you. I can not help that or change that fact and neither can you.
Remember this is about early DATING and ATTRACTION and not about a current relationship.
The only way to stop this from happening is to make sure you DO HAVE A LIFE ALL YOUR OWN.
Obviously if you don’t have a life you’re proud of then you must begin to change it immediately.
If you’re not meeting new women then you must begin to do something different.
If your life is currently revolving around one woman or women in general then you must be willing to try new things.
Below you’ll find what I did exactly and the benefits were amazing.
You see, “chasing tail” was what my life was all about and by doing so, they ran fast and hard from me. The harder I tried the faster they ran.
The solution was or IS to…
Create new experiences in your life. Find and follow your passions outside of getting laid.
A great way to follow this up my advice would be to actually do what I did because there are many ways to create an attractive life – guaranteed – 77 Laws of Success With Women & Dating – by David DeAngelo. You can also find more at the nice guy approach: Help Your Social Life & Communication Skills – Outside Resources Only.
Yes, this can be just about anything and the choice is entirely up to you.
Yes, you can follow those new experiences which bring you closer to women and meeting new women and setting yourself up to look better in their eyes.
A terrible example would be going out to bars or pubs. If you’re finding new ones and find yourself going to one more than the others, make sure you make friends with all bartenders, waitresses, bouncers, etc..
It’s called “social networking” and if you want to immensely increase your ability to attract women this is essential because WOMEN ARE SOCIAL PEOPLE who feel more attracted to guys who excel in this area.
Here are some great tips on how you get started:
Give yourself a little more time in the mornings before work and start taking different routes. Who cares if it takes you longer. Look outside your normal routine and start noticing the life around you.
Break from your normal routines and go to places you have always wanted to try but never bothered. You would be surprised how much easier this becomes when you do it just once and don’t forget to talk to people. Don’t just see on the sidelines and watch.
If you’re not going to make friends you can also learn by watching others BUT developing a large social circle will help you more.
Remember those “road trip” days we did when we first got our licenses or started to learn how to drive. Well why have they stopped? Go get your best friend, even a girl you “secretly” want, and take some random but short road trips. Explore your area!
They’re fairly inexpensive. Do some research and instead of backing out or putting it off. GO DO IT!
While you’re on once try few a random stops even if it’s just to take some cool pictures.
Don’t just say it.
Understand creating and building attraction happens naturally when you’re more of an interesting person to listen to or when you have stories to tell about your life… which again don’t revolve around women in general.
The more places you visit, the more things you do, the busier you are (out of the daily routines) the more you’ll have to talk about.
Traveling has benefits in attraction which go beyond the ordinary.
Meeting new people gives you new perspective, a broader sense of life, and a remarkable ability to communicate.
Communication is key to attraction.
Take two guys who are equal in looks and send one around the world or large local area and leave the other one confined and suffering in a stagnate routine…
Which do you believe women will be more like to go to?
Which will appear to BE THE MORE ATTRACTIVE MAN?
Without being conceited allow others to share the experiences you have when you visited a cool place you never saw before, even if it’s just fifteen minutes from your house.
Follow a passion you keep putting off. No matter how small or big.
Understand interacting with others constantly while having a good time boosts your confidence and lifts your mood. So when you’re feeling down, getting out and finding something new can and will lift your mood as long as you involve other people.
Understand the more you go out you’ll also be more likely to want to keep doing it.
It might be tough at first but the more you do, the more you’ll miss doing when you can’t and the more inspired you’ll be to keep doing it.
Get that first experience out-of-the-way and the rest WILL come easier.
Going out more can absolutely mean dating more and it should.
Sometimes you’ll be unsure about a woman, like how she does it for you but not enough to want to ask her out, well I’m telling you to do something with her anyways and find out. Just because you don’t want to marry her or become her boyfriend doesn’t mean you can’t go out with her and have a good time.
If you have to reject her later, it WILL make you stronger and if you do it right she’ll respect you more for it. ( And you never know who SHE is friends with too.)
“LIFE in general is just BUZZING with opportunity. There’s more than one path to success, so you should get used to changing your sails if the prevalent winds aren’t in your favor. It may make you feel uncomfortable to try a different, unfamiliar approach to getting what you want, but this is a GOOD thing. Being uncomfortable means you’re leaving your safe, secure little zone of comfort and doing something NEW. This means you’re evolving as a person, gathering valuable experience and LEARNING something new in the process.”
Located at “The Approach” and is a great add-on on how to develop a great social life: Meeting Women Through Social Networks, Friends, and Online Advice.
Just remember NEVER go out with an intention of meeting women.
Sure go where there are more available women but go there to meet EVERYONE.
Going out doesn’t only mean finding a bar and getting drunk. Alcohol will kill your chances of leaving a good impression. Learn to catch a buzz and not get drunk.
Going out can be as simple as taking a long walk.
Frequent new bars alone so you’re constantly forcing yourself to meet new people.
Involve yourself in more activities.
While you’re out… Pay VERY close attention to how others are hooking up, especially the quick ones. Notice the dynamics.
Use your social surroundings to learn from how people act socially. Sit back. Relax. Enjoy the show once in a while. This will help you because if you’re like I was (clueless to the real signs of attraction), you’ll find it all here.
If you’re not finding inexpensive things to do while dating, you’re NOT looking hard enough or looking in the right places. Traveling does not have to cost very much.
I just hate when I meet people who spend all their free time working and saving money just to go on a vacation for a week.
Really, what does that achieve?
Spread it out.
Do NOT give up months of your social life for just one week. It’s not worth it and it does NOT make you a more attractive man.
If you’re not making enough time for your “personal” passions, you will begin to miss yourself and act like you’re missing something. Yes, you’ll make yourself miserable and you won’t know why.
Well it’s because you’re ignoring part of your balance and your mind and body is letting you know… Pay attention to things that make you HAPPY. You may not notice the signs you are missing yourself but your body and how you feel will never forget to give you hints that you’re unbalanced.
Understand you ARE a valuable part of this world. Your presence can affect people negatively or positively. The choice is up to you.
When you DO nothing in this world, with regards to meeting new people, you inadvertently impose negative energy because you’re not allowing allows to EXPERIENCE YOU!
You might not get along with everyone you meet but you will learn something from everyone which will in turn, give you a broader perspective. Traveling or “getting out” makes you a more dynamic person whose views vary and women all too easily become extremely attracted to a dynamic man.
Those who have a more complete perspective on the world around them will have people naturally want to meet you.
They will come to YOU!
When people want to meet you and you inject a positive energy into them, the will feel more attraction for you.
Start saying YES more when for some reason, it’s easier to say no. When I started doing this more I found myself more tired at night and fell asleep quicker and woke up feeling better because of it.
I’m not saying to tire yourself out, but you must realize if you get home from work and do nothing, you’ll get tired but NOT in a good way. That tiredness from doing nothing is unhealthy and unattractive.
Bring or allow more positive people in your life but do NOT MAKE THEM your support group. That’s not why you’re there.
Learn to inspire them more than they inspire you and your confidence and self-esteem will skyrocket. If you more concerned with other people and inspiring them and giving them something intangible (not money or goods) YOU WILL NATURALLY ATTRACT MORE WOMEN without even trying.
This is about creating a lifestyle which attracts others, makes you a happier more well-rounded person, AND allows you to start developing a life which does not revolve around women.
You can NOT make women an agenda because no matter how well you think you can hide it , women know it and it makes it all that much harder.
If you’re shy or suffer from social anxiety, I understand how that’s the FIRST THING which must change.
I encourage you to read this because it’s an incredible article filled with insight:
THE 4 STEPS OF CONNECTION & FRIENDSHIP:
STEP #1: Attention
STEP #2: Connection
STEP #3: Commitment
STEP #4: Action
It’s a lead to The Power Of Social Skills and if social anxiety is a major stumbling block for you, get a handle on it immediately.
I can not tell you how many guys have no problem attracting women and they don’t even know or believe it because they’re too shy to realize it’s happening and believe me, if you’re not leading YOURSELF to women you’re missing a ton of opportunities because women do NOT like to play the leader.
Either way, if you’re struggling with this section DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT TODAY because the more you put it off, the more you’re going to miss its attractive effect it has on women.
Find new experiences and enjoying them and sharing them with others MAKES YOU A MORE ATTRACTIVE MAN.
Following your passions and creating a real balance in your life MAKES YOU A MORE ATTRACTIVE MAN.
Learning how your life does not need to revolve around women, how you don’t have to make them the goal or an agenda actually MAKES YOU A MORE ATTRACTIVE MAN and women will not only follow your lead, will seek you out IF you put yourself in more positions for it to happen naturally.
Here are some questions to think about, answer, or ask yourself and as always, contribute freely below:
- What does your life revolve around with regards to the actions you take everyday?
- Do you have a “social life” you’re proud of or does it make you internally happy?
- Is it balanced, sporadic, occasional, or heavily over-indulged?
- How many new people do you meet everyday including both men and women?
- Are you more likely to contribute to a group or take from them?
- Do you feel valuable to the close world around you?
- Do you generally create positive or negative experiences to those around you?
- What is stopping you from creating new experiences or getting out more often?
- What are some inexpensive things you can try which you have put off?
- Are you someone who procrastinates?
- Are you open to the world and the people around you or do you find yourself closed off and impersonal?
- How would you rate your social skills: Terrible, Okay, Great, Perfect, OR In Need of Help?
- Do you suffer from real social anxieties or are you just a shy person?
- What EXACTLY is your COMFORT ZONE and are you willing, capable and ready to step outside of it?
- IMPORTANT: Are you happy being a single guy OR do you believe you need a woman in your life to make you happy?
Step 1 – Building A Successful & Attractive Social Life
Why nice guys fail in their social life and introducing, step 1. Learning how to build a social life women will be a part of. Know why you’re failing.
Step 2 – Are You Meeting Single Women?
Is your social life leading you to meet single women naturally? Answer these questions to give you a dating life with choices, and opportunities.