I used to chase women all the time. I used to be terrible with women or more accurately, attracting women I actually wanted to date.
It’s easy to see how those two statements or “lack of results” are connected because… in the world of attraction, “chasing” or “being chased” has no real place.
Women don’t “fall” for guys who chase them.
Take it as the truth from a guy who did it for years and got nowhere. Take a look at your own life and relationships with women and you’ll see the reality of your situation. Look around at every guy you see “chasing” a woman and notice the REAL dynamics of the situation.
When someone feels pursued it’s only natural that they have an urge to run away. Their natural instinct is to either “flee” or “fight”. Neither of which is beneficial in creating a real attraction.
In attraction – those who are doing the pursuing are often seen as less attractive than the one being pursued. Even if the guy is considered the hottest guy in the planet, when seen chasing a woman, he becomes less attractive (or wussy like or less Alpha) and she becomes almost unattainable because she’s left to “decide” or “choose” whether she accepts him. She becomes “in charge” and he’s left waiting for her to decide their fate.
Chasing women does not create attraction and when a man feels too pursued by a woman he will feel less attracted to her over the long run. Meaning sure he might give in and sleep with her but a longer “relationship” or “connection” is less likely to occur.
Chasing men does not create attraction. Getting a guy to chase a woman (by a woman) will decrease her attraction to him and she will eventually feel like she’s in charge making it almost feel like she’s the guy and he’s the girl. Again, not good for any real long-term results.
Those who are doing the chasing are seen as having less value, lower status, less attractive than the one they are chasing and are ultimately giving up the choice to be “gotten” to the one they are chasing.
“Man transformations is about taking ACTION, overcoming fears, and erasing the bad programming way too many nice guys which get in their way in life AND women. Fix both areas of your Inner Game (this deep emotional stuff) AND your Outer Game (how to successfully interact with women and life.)” –
The answer is simply put (although harder to perform) – In this “nice guys” approach to attraction chasing women is NOT allowed by any means whatsoever even if it means giving up on certain women who “say” that is what they want or who claim “men” are supposed to court women.
Here’s the answer:
- Become a more attractive man who “naturally” attracts women by the way you interact with “people” regardless of women.
- Put yourself in situations where you’re more likely to meet women who you do find attractive and are more likely to form something longer term.
- Invite women to share your experiences with them and encourage them to invite you in the experiences they enjoy.
- Invite women in the direction you wish to go by leading yourself in the direction YOU want to go.
- Understand you can NOT “create attraction” by courting, chasing, or pursuing.
- Understand if there’s no attraction in the first place (or if you don’t understand how to create it how it happens or why it happens) no matter how much you court, pursue, or chase will ever make it happen.
Now I hear you and everyone else – if you’re not allowed to chase a woman and she’s not allowed to chase you AND if you feel less attracted to women who chase you… then where does that leave you? What options are you left with that can actually help you succeed in “dating”?
Define the word chase in your head. Write it down.
1. To pursue in order to seize, overtake, etc.:
2. To pursue with intent to capture or kill, as game; hunt:
3 To follow or devote one’s attention to with the hope of attracting, winning, gaining, etc.:
He chased her for three years before she consented to marry him.
First and foremost, when someone is running from you by any means whatsoever – then you are either chasing them or they feel nothing for you.
Inviting a woman to join you is not chasing them. Getting a third date or more is not chasing women.
If you’re on a second date and she’s hesitant about going on a third with you or makes you work way too hard to get it AND you start doing all sorts of crazy shit just to “convince” how cool it would – well then you’re chasing her. Don’t do it. Walk away.
Persistence does not work that way.
Approaching a woman is not chasing them. Even if you run down to street to catch up to her. Although that’s a little creepy and strange, handled correctly it’s not the worst thing you can do.
Notice the differences and ALWAYS refer to the actual definition of chasing.
If you pursue – if you are doing things which make women run away – if what you’re doing causes a woman to step back farther than you’re willing to go – if you’re trying to convince her to feel something for you – if she feels little or nothing and you’re only choice is to try to romance or court her more – etc… etc.. etc…
“Avoid standard courtship, pursuing, and chasing one specific women or all them by setting up “meetings” which center around this magical formula…” – Being Hard To Get or How To Become One Without Playing Games
Again, but with a twist…
When someone is running from you by any means whatsoever – then you are chasing them.
When the only choice they have is to fight or flee – then you’re chasing them.
In the world of attraction “fight” might be considered rejecting you, turning you down, being blatantly honest about NOT wanting to have anything to do with you
Women do not fall for guys who chase them. They may give in or reluctantly allow him to court her for a while if there’s a little attraction in the first place.
They may allow a guy to chase her indefinitely for reasons which are not always nice or keep him “on the hook” to satisfy her own Ego or to make herself feel better.
They may even let him believe there’s a chance IF he would just work a little harder for attention.
Sometimes a woman might “give in” because he’s being cleverly persistent or cute or has undoubtedly proven his feelings are real but in the end what is he really proving to himself? That he just got a woman who felt it necessary to make the guy bend or break at her whim because (depending on the situation) she didn’t trust his intentions.
So, even in the odd happening when chasing a woman actually does work, not only does it create a problem for the future with the lack of trust or her seeing him as less valuable than her (and so on) something more important is being wasted – TIME.
There are just better ways to date, find dates, create attraction, form relationships, and find the perfect woman for you…
Chasing is not, and will never be, the best option… women don’t generally fall for guys they felt little for who chase them – they only settle for them.