Being hard to get is very important to ALL nice guys because:
- Women make too many assumptions about nice guys… clingy, needy, manipulative, no choices, only do things to get women to like them, etc.. The list goes on and it’s a lot to overcome.
- There are way too many “nice guys” who are too easy to get. They are also easy to find but since they rarely create enough attraction, women will often CLAIM they are hard to find.
Remember this, playing a hard to get “game” is where you’re going to use women against other women AND your intention is to use “the game” to get something from women.
If you really are a nice guy you DO NOT have to play any of those games BUT you might have to develop a set of rules which will help you overcome some personal problems you’ve had with women.
Some rules are based on when to text and call. How often you contact her. How many dates you go on with her. What you expect after each date or how you end it. How long your interactions are with her. And so on.
Those basic rules are reserved for guys that have been too needy, acted too quickly, acted from a place of little esteem or confidence, or have an overwhelming feeling that a specific woman is incredibly awesome you must get her before some other guy does.
They are not for everyone.
If that’s you or describes your current relationships with women then you definitely need a set of rules or a game plan to stick to until a later time when none of that stuff pertains to you anymore.
Again, if you’re NOT using women those games are not player moves and no matter what women try to make you believe, you’re not a player because you choose to put them in place.
Never forget this:
A guy with any kind of long-term plan tends to be more attractive than a guy without one.
You’re just a nice guy trying to hold your edge in attraction and some women might object to it, they might fight you on it, they may even choose to never get close to you BUT it won’t change their attraction for you.
It will still be there IF you create it and amplify it accordingly.
Being a hard to get guy means lots of things and you can go as deep as you want to on this one.
Some are lifestyle ones like keeping yourself busy. Maintaining your lifestyle. Building a social life which will keep you balanced and happier while remaining single.
Some are masculine based like not letting women walk all over you, not letting her control the time frame in which things happen, taking a leadership role, setting up the dates for her, progressing naturally to a relationship, and even knowing when to walk away.
Some are dating based like dating several women at once, having quick dates, only dating her once or week or more and not less, not kissing her the first date but showing a little intimacy like hand-holding, hugging, or teasing her, not putting her on a pedestal, or qualifying her.
If you’re not sure whether you’re playing a good game or a bad game, here’s something I came up with to help you decide:
(If you’re still not sure, leave a quick comment and we’ll discuss it.)
There are two “games” guys can use with women.
- The “good” one – Plays on her strengths. Like a heated battle using our strongest courtship roles as the basis for it like wit, charm, flirting and slightly sexual fun.
- The “bad” game. Classic player moves. These play on her weaknesses. They key “moves” are generally used to have a woman acting outside of her stronger role and has her doing things against her intuition and they are ALWAYS by his rules.
What you’ll want to take away from this page is:
Being hard to get does NOT have to be a game. It only means you ARE hard to get. You can do this by:
- Creating more dating options or being more desirable from lots of women. As it’s called – Abundance over Scarcity.
- Learning to qualify women respectfully or not settle too easily. You should expect as much from her as she expects from you and sometimes even more.
- Following your passions outside of women to assure your life does not revolve around women.
- Building and maintaining a social life which not only keeps you busy but also opens new opportunities and friends.
- Knowing the difference between playing a woman and being hard to get.
- Understanding that some of you might have to set up rules to maintain this “hard-to-get” status.
- This is not ignoring women or playing them because they will get you nowhere.
- Avoid standard courtship, pursuing, and chasing one specific women or all them by setting up “meetings” which center around around this magical formula: “DO SOMETHING THAT HAS INTERESTING CONVERSATION AND EXCITEMENT BUILT INTO IT” – more on that from the guy who created it is at The Approach Don’t Pay For Her Attention! Fun Date Ideas & Better Dating Techniques.
- Building confidence and esteem so rejections are learning techniques and not failures. This is an attractive form of indifference so don’t take it personal.
- Using indifference towards her female ways by holding back a little just because she’s attractive. Yes, that might mean not sleeping with a woman too quickly if you want more.
We can build this list as we go on and if you would like to add something, please do so below.
For now – Being hard to get is something every nice guy should aim for especially if he wants to avoid silly mind games.
Which would YOU rather be? A nice guy who is easy to get or a guy who is hard to get who happens to be good?