The “nice guy” tends to confuse dominance and leadership and often take on a feminine role making them far less attractive to women.
They want her to take charge, move forward, make the first move, etc… because they’re either afraid of appearing too dominant and controlling, lack the self-esteem to believe in themselves, are afraid of a woman thinking they’re one the jerks they despise, and occasionally because they fear success in an area that they have little experience.
Bad boys normally show leadership in themselves but fail to do so in entering a relationship. That’s part of the negative edge to their interactions with women.
Jerks, who normally exhibit over-confidence, tend to be controlling and dominant. This makes (some) women believe they are true leaders when all they’re doing is telling people what to do which makes their negative edge very sharp and often demeaning to others.
The player may act like a leader because he’s willing to move forward quickly. He has to stay one-step ahead of his “prey” to play his game.
While all three tend to attract more women than the “nice guy”, there’s some common attractive pieces a nice guy can adopt for himself putting him in a more attractive role without the negative side effects.
First, he must fully understand the difference between being dominant and being a leader and what type of leader is the more positive attractive man.
“If your experiences with women is leading THEM to make the decision to be your girlfriend or not, the personality you are showing her is that of the PROVIDER.” – Are You A Lover Or A Provider?
Dominance in the bedroom for a guy is (mostly) a good thing and women do love it. There’s nothing wrong with it as long as it’s done with a partner who is accepting and is agreeing to sex.
The jerk may appear to be successful in this area because women just might assume his controlling and dominant demeanor will roll over to the bedroom (pun intended) and in the relationship.
Sometimes that’s true. Sometimes it’s not.
Whatever truth we believe it’s clear the lack of dominant alpha trait shown by the nice guy can easily have a woman just assume without question he will not be dominant sexually and in entering a relationship therefore leaving her to think the sex won’t be as good as it is with a jerk…. perhaps because there’s obviously more to it but for today, let’s not get too far off the point.
If the “nice guy” wants to appear more dominant without being a controlling ass, he needs to be is a true leader and not the type of leader who is only demeans others.
He does NOT have to be a boss or take on any career which puts him in charge although I will admit, it doesn’t necessarily hurt in creating attraction.
All the nice guy needs to do is BE the primary leader in HIS life and his life choices and have a clear direction of what he wants most of the time.
They do not have to tell her or women what to do because obviously that’s what the jerk normally does.
When it comes to attracting women – while keeping your nice guy ways in tact, the type of leadership she wants is actually your ability to lead YOURSELF confidently and competently.
“True leaders have integrity. Integrity is the very core of their influence. Living the values they profess to believe is what gives them credibility and allows others to place their trust in them. True leaders are able to say “do as I do” rather than just “do as I say”, because they lead by example.” The Characteristics Of A True Leader
That, mixed with assertive dominance over ones life choices and decisions is ALL a woman needs to feel sexually attracted and more likely to assume the sexual edge will roll over to romance and sex… making HIM more attractive and a real man over any jerk because he comes with a positive side and not a negative edge.
If it’s not obvious women DO want a man who is willing to take charge and accept the leadership when entering a relationship and moving forward with things like, asking her out, starting a conversation, setting dates, and the first kiss and we can assume a guy who is a true leader in his life will have no problems doing any of those things.
A “true” leader does not just always direct others but offers certain freedoms to the individual which benefit their growth & happiness and helps them achieve a healthy personal balance.
The great part of becoming that lead in your own life is that so many times, that’s all you’ll ever need to attract women like never before as proposed by the leader in teaching guys how to be a more attractive man,
“On Being A Man – “REAL men are so rare in this world that if you simply learn how to ACT like one, a woman will instantly assume that you’re a “catch”…”
The nice guy must also give up on wanting a woman to lead him.
He must give up on the idea that he wants women to like him (just the way he is) because if you’re a submissive guy, it’s just not going to happen consistently enough and you’ll eventually find yourself settling for a woman you don’t really want.
Get used to it now…
YOU are a man and all sexuality aside, SHE is a woman.
Women want you to be the man.
Women want you to lead.
My current belief is that most of the time, when a nice guy works on his leadership skills and allows them to happen naturally around women he rarely turns it into a demanding thing which would land him in the jerk role. This doesn’t happen because “nice guys” are all too weary or worried and have a constant eye on the “darker side” of themselves or the morals of others compared to their own.
Back to above…
We have the false-confidence of the dominant jerk and his lack of real leadership and how those traits which attract lots of women can be done in a positive way.
The player must be pro-active or lead his “prey” so she’s less likely to see his game. Staying one step ahead of her is in his best interest BUT, just like the jerk, you can use his leadership skills without the negative bullshit.
The player also adds another layer…
Women like it when a guy appears to always be one step ahead of her. It’s romantic. It’s chivalry, It’s highly ATTRACTIVE.
“Attracting women is easy because women want men. Real men. Genuine men with character, courage, and who take responsibility in their own self-worth. Attracting women is easy because as a man, you were born to attract them.”
You’ll want to work on that one too and perhaps later we can get into it along with some seduction tactics which requires you to be (or appear) one step ahead of her giving her the feeling that not only do you know her like no other guy has, but you get her, understand her, and just KNOW what to do at the right time.
It’s very powerful in relationships and seduction and it’s something most really attractive men have in common.
Let’s wrap it up for today.
You do NOT have to be or become a jerk, a player, or a bad boy to attract women like never before.
They all exhibit leadership and a little dominance with a negative side effect, and that is something ALL nice guys can learn to for for themselves positively.
A woman just needs to FEEL that a man leads his own life confidently in a relatively competent manner for her to become attracted to him. (All things consider it must be done the right way and can happen naturally.)
When the nice guy begins to lead his life a certain way he will NEVER have to become a jerk or player keeping the good guy inside him alive, positive, and productive.