You know when you’re out of balance. When parts of your life tend to be taking over and you just can not find time to do something else.
You know when you eat too much and feel bloated and way too full. You can barely walk, pants come undone, and you just want to sit back and lull yourself to sleep.
You absolutely realize when you’ve had too much to drink. You can barely stand. You can barely speak. Sooner or later you have to crash so your body can, “fix itself”.
These things happen because BALANCE is very important. It’s important to your health. It’s important to your soul. And it’s extremely important to your overall happiness.
This should go without saying but:
Nice guys lives are out of balance with women.
Their lives either revolve around them way too much OR not at all. Even though the “not at all” usually means saying “fuck it” and giving up entirely. Like I did, burying yourself in whatever hobbies or fun you can find to keep you busy.
In any nice guys quest to get the “women” part of their life handled, once again, the balance shifts.
The more success we have in attracting women, the harder it becomes because we end up with too many women in our once quiet lives.
The less success we have in attracting women, the easier it is to fixate on them. Dream about them. Wonder about them. We become sometimes obsessed with one at a time and our life literally revolves them.
This is why we must become very aware and objective of the problem and we must make certain rules for us to keep us on track, as in my article Your Life Revolves Around You, Nice Guy Solves A Tough Rule of Attraction.
The absolute truth about this balance problem is that:
Women do NOT feel attraction for guys whose life revolves around them and too many nice guys make women a priority in their lives or a desperation.
“Women make assumptions about nice guys… Clingy, needy…” – Being Hard To Get Without Playing Games
Sure you can argue for some cases, you can argue about guys who sleep with lots of women, and may some more but, first case, she’s probably pretty messed up and second case – the majority of those guys who have the opportunity and do sleep with lots of women – are normally living a life which is far from centered around women.
This attractive balance you must achieve is about finding your passions, living your own life, and not making women the only reason you get up every day. (Wives and daughters excluded of course.)
I’m not saying it’s okay to sit around watching sports and playing games instead of meeting more women.
That won’t help either.
This is about balancing your time and fitting women into YOUR life.
“If you are sex-focused, you are–by definition, mind you–HANDING OVER all the power to women. You are putting them in the catbird’s seat as far as being the choosers YOU are chasing.” – Who Chooses and Who Chases Men Or Women?
Scot Mckay – DiaLteG TM
It’s also NOT about rearranging everything you do just to make one woman happy. You’ll only resent her for it and she will not respect you back either.
Find a balance between your hobbies, your goals, your passions, AND your dating life.
Women do not want the extreme in ANY case.
If all you care about is getting more women to date, chances are you won’t end up with many dates. If all you care about is your hobbies and this leaves you no time for anything else you won’t end up with many dates either
In every endeavor balance is key to a well-rounded and happy life.
Why should your dating life be any different? Why should attraction be any different?
“In attraction – those who are doing the pursuing are often seen as less attractive than the one being pursued.” – Can or Do Women Fall for Guys Who Chase Them?
I used to be scared to leave a woman I was interested in alone. I always thought she would find someone else if I was not with her every second of the day. I felt a little lost without her – because without her… I had no life.
But you know what, women are highly understandable people.
Sure if you meet a girl who needs to see you all the time and you put it off because you’re living your own life, she may get angry with you from time to time but that will not decrease any attraction she feels for you.
In fact it will increase her desire to be with you because she can not have you when ever she pleases.
“If you spend all your energy chasing the “uninterested” you will leave very little for learning the powerful concept of how attraction works.” Chasing Women, Being Lonely – How To Stop and Allow Attraction to Work
This is a huge shift which separates you from other nice guys who are constantly begging her for company or attention.
You CAN be the one guy she has to work a little harder for and you don’t have to play mind games or tricks to make that happen.
All you have to do is LIVE YOUR LIFE to the fullest and women will want to be a part of it.
That’s why this is one of the easiest move a nice guy can do which makes him more attractive to women.
Stick to your personal goals.
Live out your passions.
Desire to make yourself happy first and you will be more desirable to women.
When you do not live your own life, you end up chasing women and pushing attraction (and women) away.
This nice guy tip is here to help you understand you CAN live your own life and still attract women – just find the right balance which works best for you.
As part of my “girlfriend series” I add the step of time management. You’ll quickly realize “living your own life” opens up a new problem. Time seems to be always against you.
This article will help you a little and at least get you pushed in the right direction so you know what time management is all about.
AND REMEMBER the title because it says its all.
When You Control Your Life Effortlessly, Women Will Want To Be In It
I would also look into step 3: Develop A Social Life, Get Involved, Give Something Back Women Do Want because you’ll want the balance of a healthy social life too.
Never forget the Nice Guy Approach:
The first piece:
Becoming an attractive guy is all about YOU. Your mindset. Your objectivity. Your ability to create a more well-balanced mature and masculine man whose not governed by fears or misguided by internal repressions… and who also happens to posses a modest and humorous side which is purely human.
Get that handled and NEVER stop working on it. Your rate of progression will change and that’s cool.
Today’s post covers a part of it.
The second part is changing how you interact with women, how you communicate yourself to women, that is For REAL success. Get the first part and you might not even have to do the second part but since it’s a lot of fun and beneficial to finding the woman of your dreams – it’s worth it. Every second of the process.
Following along, the scales will tip and you’ll once again find your balance shifting except this time, righting yourself will be easier. (Most of the time.)
It is what they call life or “living”.