The attractive male is NOT perfect. He does make mistakes.
BUT that does NOT stop him from enjoying (and sharing) his stronger points with women.
There are some who argue you have to separate yourself from other men, how all you have to do is beat your fellow guy and you’ll get the girl.
I won’t disagree with that entirely but I do believe when your focus is misdirected it can become cloudy and vague and waste too much of this precious thing called time.
We want to center that focus back on ourselves.
We want to enhance and use our stronger points while at the same time working or fixing the weaker areas which may be stopping us from attracting women.
Doing so is far more beneficial and helpful than just trying to beat some other guy to a girl.
It may sound obvious, maybe even a bit cliché, but when you consider long-term success in becoming an attractive man it’s important to always consider our goal here – and that is OUR success and not someone else’s failure.
In a crowded room I was once a self-involved insecure mess. It always felt like I was being judged or scrutinized. I imagined everything I did or say was going to mark me forever as someone I’m not AND I was totally convinced everyone noticed in the smallest movement I made or did not make.
This is a definite marked weakness in the world of attracting women.
However now I can clearly see how it was a strength in perception and an extreme connection to my inner-self which I’ve found not everybody is blessed with having.
So yeah, being a shy guy may not have helped in meeting women but focusing on some other guy who was seemingly worse off than me was not going to help me win that battle either.
Honestly, all that was needed was to retrain this “strength in perceptions” to notice clues, gather notes on body-language, study social interactions, write down what I say that DID work with women and what I saw which repelled them…
The extreme connection I had with my inner-self did mean I was terribly self-conscious which inhibited my ability to be my “cool self” but I knew if I could work on my esteem this would naturally vanish.
Within every one of us lives a certain strength in something, anything, and we can use that same power to help us become whomever we want to be, up to and including a more attractive man.
If you can positively dial in and focus on any strength, big or small, you’ll soon notice by making one simple connection you can fortify a weaker area or rid yourself of it entirely.
I used my strength in “perceptions” to notice the reality of the cause/effects of social life.
Through that I was able to become less self-conscious and from there it didn’t take me long to realize how everyone around me was so concerned with their own life problems or bragging about their successes or bitching about their problems that no one was even paying much attention to me at all.
That includes the good – not many, if any, really gave a shit what I was doing unless it directly affected them allowing me the freedom to do whatever the fuck I wanted.
But it also includes the bad – not gaining attraction, attention, or the sexual interest of women who I wanted to notice me in the first place.
“The ability to function competently and positively despite feeling lonely or always being single is a strength we might overlook on our quest to become a more attractive man.”
So yeah, that’s the small theory of it all and I understand if you want something you can touch and feel, something which really hits the mark and helps you to become that attractive man you came here to be…
Well based on that and some other “theories” lies the answer which I alluded to it in the very first sentence of this post,
“…enjoying (and sharing) our stronger points with women without the worries of attracting…”
My strength above became an unstoppable force in attraction when I began enjoying them and sharing them with women. You can do that too.
Find something you think you’re incredible at and start sharing those talents immediately.
Don’t worry about the results.
Don’t concern yourself over the outcome.
Share and give your unique strengths to any woman who you absolutely feel, without a doubt, is capable of accepting it and don’t do it because you want to get in her pants.
Focus on your successes and not someone else’s failures because despite how it feels, we are NOT here to beat someone else to a girl.
If you can do that even marginally better than you did the day before – you WILL be that much closer to being a very attractive man from the inside out.
Becoming a more attractive man is NOT about finding perfection and thinking that’s what attracts women but is instead about having the ability or skill to learn from our mistakes by using the strengths we’ve had all along.
- What are your specific strengths as a nice guy?
- What do you feel are your biggest weaknesses?
- Where is your main focus, your strength, some other guy’s strengths, your weaknesses, or other people weaknesses?
- What is one way you can turn a known weak point into more of a positive strength?
- Do you sincerely believe something as small as this can help you become a more attractive man?