Here’s the scenario. You’re out with your beautiful girlfriend at the beach.
There are (obviously) lots of women in bikinis swimming, walking around, catching a tan, hanging out, and soaking up the warm sun.
You’re a guy and women who are barely dressed and showing lots of skin are very attractive; understandably it’s very hard not to look. It may also be a little tough to not check some of them out, especially the ones who are right in your view or who walk past your beach blanket.
It’s clear that if you were there hanging out with your guys friends you may be inclined to get your fair share of looks because let’s face it, EVERYONE likes to look at a beautiful bodies… man or woman.
How are you going to handle the situation?
Are you one of those guys, despite being there with your girlfriend, find yourself staring and watching intently at every woman who catches your eye? Almost as if you can not help yourself.
Are you one of those “nice” guys who “pretend” not to notice even a woman who is standing right in your view… as if you’re blind?
Are you one of those guys who feels like you have to “ask” for permission from your girlfriend before you’re “allowed” to look? Knowing that if this topic isn’t discussed or agreed upon could cause a future fight or a bad time at the beach. You think if you keep quiet you’re screwed, if you talk about it, you’re just as screwed and won’t be getting “screwed” that night… in the good way.
Are you one of those guy who just couldn’t care less? You’re a guy, right? Your girlfriend “should” understand that. Maybe you believe you should be excused because you’re a man and it’s only “natural” for a guy to act that way.
Where do you find yourself in all this? Be honest. Is it a problem you’re experiencing which goes above and beyond an obvious place like the beach? We’re only talking about the beach here because it offers the most options to stare at hot bodies but it’s not restricted to the beach, is it?
After all, if you’re going to go anywhere with your girlfriend – this thing is going to come up sooner or later.
How do you feel about your girlfriend? How do you think she’ll respond if she catches you checking out some “other” girl?
Have you discussed it with her? How has she already reacted badly to your roaming eye?
Lastly – Do you think your girlfriend checks out other “hot” guys? Is, just because she’s a woman, do you think she’s above staring at men who are attractive? As if when she found you, there are no other better looking men than you?
Are women prone to making the same mistakes as you by accidentally being caught staring at other men in YOUR presence? 😉
This is the “nice guy” approach but don’t let the name fool you. I’m not interested in turning bad guys nice. I’m not into turning nice guys into pricks. The goal is clearly to pass on information or the right path to learn the right information and show men that being overly nice is very manipulative towards women and rarely creates the attraction needed to be successful in the dating/relationship area of your life.
You see, from above, The “nice guy” hides his masculinity all too much. He pretends he’s not physically attracted to other women. He tries to seclude his real self from women and by doing so fails to attract women because, well, straight women like MEN. Hiding the fact you’re a man is not the best solution.
Admit this. People are people.
Men and women have strong sexual desires which will ALWAYS go beyond the person we’re with and no one is except from feeling some sort of attraction towards beauty.
If your girlfriend won’t admit it then she’s probably lying to spare your feelings or believes you can not handle the truth, or how she might believe your esteem (or security) might be threatened. In other words she doesn’t want you all butt-hurt just because let’s face it, there are always going to be other guys who are more attractive than we are.
I’m not saying her life revolves around checking out guys with her girlfriends but it does happen. It’s going to happen.
The same goes for you. A REAL woman understands a man’s desires will wander on occasion. In fact it’s your desire in her which proves it to her. Think about it. If you find her sexually attractive, then she believes you just “might” have good taste in women. 🙂
My thoughts on all this staring at hot women when your with your girlfriend or how to handle these little situations or circumstances when they happen is very simple. I won’t say every woman will agree with me, BUT I will say it’s the smart way of dealing it and honestly, if your girlfriend is that bent or upset about your desire AND you’re handling it in a mature, honest, open way, well then you might want to reconsider your relationship with her.
#1. Communication. Absolute communication.
Don’t wait for something to happen. Don’t avoid talking about this stuff. Get it out. Get it out early on. Discuss this with her. Find out her thoughts. How she reacts. How you react. Is she the jealous type? Are you the overly jealous type?
NEVER remain silent hoping your silence will make the problem never happen because it will probably make it worse.
Remember nice guys coddle women way too much. She has opinions. She’s a real life person under those beautiful breasts and sexy eyes. She’s not a fragile creature which needs your protection from everyday life. Expect her to handle things as maturely as you. At least this way you’ll know quickly how mature she really is and how secure you both are and whether you both live in the “real” world… or not.
I would not suggest you push the subject. Just find the time to discuss EVERYTHING with your partner without fear of reprisal and do so in a way which is not demeaning, judgmental, or in an asinine way and trust me, not only will she appreciate it, she’ll like you more for being an actual guy who gets it, gets her, and a guy she can talk to about anything.
#2: Here’s the rule guys. You are with your girlfriend! Don’t act like you’re hanging out with your buddies and show some respect.
It’s really just that simple. Be aware. Be conscious. Be a MAN who has control enough over himself to not make his girlfriend feel like she got “stuck” with a guy who only knows how his dick works.
This is the simplicity of it all – if it’s something you would do while hanging out with your guy friends, chances are, it’s NOT how you want to act when you’re with your girlfriend.
It’s about control. Controlling yourself.
It’s not about pretending there isn’t a beautiful half-naked woman standing in your view and you saw her, because you DID.
It’s about not letting it become something more.
Remember, you’re there with a beautiful half-naked woman who probably has seen you naked AND she is still with YOU. 🙂 Yeah I’m joking a little there but you get the picture. You can handle it.
As a guy you’re always going to see women.
As a woman she’s always going to see men.
Let’s not pretend it doesn’t happen but let’s not let it all destroy something we built with her just because of it.
Have a plan. Be honest. Talk about it before it becomes a serious issue or problem. Communicate.
Don’t be an ass. Don’t be a nice “pretender”.
Just be a MAN who gets it. Who gets her. Who understands WOMEN. Who understands HER.
If she is still against you, won’t discuss it honestly and reasonable, makes unreasonable requests, if she doesn’t get YOU, isn’t open to communicate in a healthy way, etc… AND you ARE that guy who follows #1 and #2 – then I will go so far as practically guaranteeing you’re going to find lots of women REAL women who would gladly get to know you better after it all falls apart.