When I was a nice guy and fell for a woman, a predictable pattern would happen. I’d get close to her, mostly friend her, do nice things, be nice to her, and then start to feel even more for her.
I’m sure most of them knew what was going on even though I thought I was hiding it.
As the days or weeks past and nothing was happening between us physically, I grew impatient. I just HAD to TELL HER how I felt. (As if it was going to change something. As if it would get her to make a move on me. Obviously neither being true.)
Nice guys have a pattern with women. Friend her because they’re attracted to her. Fall deeper and deeper for her. Hold back all the good physical stuff and wait for her to make a move or do something. Then, because nothing’s happening, they feel they have to finally let it out. They tell her how they feel thinking she’s going to finally fall madly in love with them… and it doesn’t work. Follow the right pattern and DO something. You should not admit your feelings until the time is right and certain things are already happening.
One piece of advice typically given to men and women which applies to dating (and life) is probably an old cliché:
Put yourself in more positions where something can and will, naturally happen.
It might be another way of saying “put yourself out there” and so most nice guys ignore it or downplay what it means.
Yet we can not ignore the fact that if you’re not out there looking or meeting women, the odds of dating someone becomes close to nothing. (Sure you can do the online thing but for best results, relying just on the internet doesn’t help with the real social aspect of dating.)
Attractive single beautiful women are everywhere and they’re waiting to meet a good guy like you. Now that you’re ready to start meeting them, it’s time to gain valuable experience and practice by setting up your life so you know what to do and also to have it all happen naturally. Build a more rewarding social life and have more rewarding and fun dates too.
Dating can be about exploring options as much as it can be about learning compatibility.
Nice guys tend to only date one woman at a time. They can easily go from relationship to relationship. They also might feel like dating many women at once is not a nice thing to do.
They also tend to struggle attracting women which makes it very difficult to date lots of women. They use excuses to avoid meeting women and don’t explore all the real options to make “getting dates” happen.
So this is a real problem and they don’t get all the benefits included in dating many women:
Creates an abundance attitude which overrides the scarcity mentality which most nice guys have.
Learning qualification and allowing a woman to prove herself (in a good way).
Avoids becoming overly needy, desperate, or looking like you do not have any other real choices.
Allows you to feel pre-selected which boosts your confidence and helps to maintain a high esteem.
Makes you a REAL challenge. A man who is hard to get while avoiding having to play hard to get.
It’s easy to understand that nice guys struggle getting lots of dates but that’s not the only reason they don’t date lots of women. There are many benefits to dating many women before you commit and lots to learn from it. From an abundance attitude to feeling pre-selected to being a real challenge who is hard to get.